Beloved

Colossians 3 talks a lot about how I am to identify myself. I am not known by God as a white girl or a Caucasian or an American or a basketball coach, though I am all of those. Col 3:12 says,"So, as those how have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion..."He knows me as one who He has raised with Christ. He knows me as one of His Chosen ones. He knows me as one of His Holy ones- meaning, He set me apart to be like Him. And, ultimately, He knows me as His beloved.

I think that this last one, for some reason, is one that I just have such a hard time grasping. I am not entirely sure why, but there is some disconnect in me that says God just doesn’t really like me that much. This verse tells me otherwise. I looked up that word in the original Greek, beloved, and here’s what it said:

1) of persons
a) to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly

God has welcomed me, He’s brought me in to entertain (as in the sense of entertaining someone in your home?), He is fond of me, He loves me dearly…The Greek dictionary further said that this word may come from the word phileo which means:
1) to love
a) to approve of
b) to like
c) sanction
d) to treat affectionately or kindly, to welcome, befriend
2) to show signs of love
a) to kiss
3) to be fond of doing
a) be wont, use to do

I’ll be honest, reading those definitions stopped me in my tracks. My eyes are welling up and I feel a quickness in my breathing. God approves of me? He likes me? He treats me affectionately? Loves me dearly? God befriends me? God even kisses me? God is fond of saving me?

Aren’t these the longings in me? To be loved like that? To be fulfilled by such a love? God is not stiff-arming me, waiting for me to make myself holier, to prove myself worthy of something from Him…I don’t know what it is in me, but with both my earthly father and heavenly father I’m always living wanting to please them so they’ll be pleased with me. Neither of them have done anything to me to cause me to think this way, but there it is inside my heart- this thirst for approval, this idea that I’m earning something from them, not even just proving myself worthy of admiration, but working to gain it…Really I treat all people like that, but those are the two big ones…It is a sick love that cares more about how people view me than how I view people. It is wanting their approval more than their good…but that is for another time…
The crazy part is that not only does my earthly father love me unconditionally, so does my heavenly father. I think the latter is so much harder for me to understand because of His complete knowledge of me.
My dad knows me as well as anyone on this earth, but God is the one who knows what I’m really like. God is the one who hears all the thoughts that I am so glad other people can’t hear. God is the one who has seen the deeds done that I’m so glad other people haven’t seen. He knows all about me, the things that really motivate me, bother me, that make me who I am…and He is fond of me.
I think we live in a culture so built on work and rewards that it has seeped into every fiber of my thinking. For goodness sake, even in Awana the system is- learn a verse here‘s a badge for your chest! And to an extent, God works like that too- He says we are laying up treasures in heaven, but we are never ever ever working for His approval or His pleasure over us. That is as free as the air that we breathe. Just as I can take pleasure in God simply for who He is (though I don’t often do that), God has taken pleasure in me simply for who I am- His daughter, the work of His hands.

And you know what’s crazy? When God introduced Jesus to the world as His Son- what did He say? “This is my beloved Son”…same root word…God isn’t kidding that He loves us the same way He loves Jesus…
So often I have read that verse “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience…” and I have skipped right over those amazing words of who I am in God’s eyes. I’ve read it and gone straight to the checklist- what is God expecting of me today? Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, got it. Then I go and try to bang these into my head so that I will be able to perform them. As if I am some Marine who by sheer force of will and training can produce all the results demanded of him by his officer.
God is not some removed military official, and I most certainly am not even capable of taking His traits and forcing them into my being. As I realize who I am to God, holy and beloved, putting on compassion starts seeming doable because I am so full of the love God has for me. I am so in awe that God likes me and that He has affection for me and that it’s just because.

That is my new identification. I am God’s beloved. What then do I have to prove to Him or anyone else? Nothing. "My Beloved is mine and I am His."