Okay, I think this is the last of the posts I had written but never posted. This one retells the story of how God helped me make it home with my cankle...I am sure anyone who would read this blog has already heard the story, but it's worth telling again...I wrote this one November 21...
Leaving Germany had its share of positives and negatives- i.e. getting to see my family and sunshine vs not being able to play or be with my team…But one huge negative- I was NOT looking forward to the flight home with my cankle…
I prayed and prayed that my foot would be okay on the flight. I prayed that He would work something out so that I could have my foot up- to keep the swelling from getting outrageous over the 11 hour flight from London- or that He would somehow miraculously just let my foot not swell up… I was really unsure if God would provide some way for me to keep my foot up or if He was going to just get me through the pain of having it down and I was nervous about it.
After my first flight, less than 2 hours from Berlin to London, my foot was already throbbing. The nervousness (is that a word?) was building… I went to Customer Services and asked about getting put in a seat in front of the wall so that I could put my foot up, but all of those seats were full. They didn’t have any other options for me either. I was prepared to endure the flight.
As I waited to get to my seat my mental toughness dissipated. I was nearly in tears- waiting in line to check in, then waiting in the aisle of the plane for all the people ahead of me putting their bags into overhead compartments- being up on my foot was getting more and more painful. I was dreading the flight. Dreading.
I found my seat at last, an aisle seat (I did thank the Lord for that) near the back of the plane. I got the things I needed from my bag and decided to put it up top to make more room for my neighbors. I sat down and waited….my neighbors never came. As it came closer and closer for the time for the attendants to close the door I felt a great sense of hope- would I really have an entire row to myself???
I asked the nearest flight attendant if I could move to the window seat and stretch my leg across the seats- I explained to her that I have a sprained ankle (I didn’t want to take the chance that someone would ask to move into one of the seats). She told me that it would be fine so long as they didn’t need to move someone there. I nearly started crying again- this time from relief and joy at how God had answered my prayers.
The pilot came on over the loudspeaker- we were slightly delayed because two passengers would not be coming on the flight after all, and the airline needed to get their bags unloaded. The woman across the aisle from me looked at me and smiled- we both were thinking the same thing- those two people were from my row. I pointed heavenward and mouthed “thank you”…she smiled again. I waited with anticipation to see if anyone would get moved into my row. No one was. I really think that as people asked to move around, the attendant never offered the seats I was in.
This was a huge gift to me and I am so thankful for it! How crazy- an entire row on an international flight!!!! When I think of how many seats are on that huge plane, and how many flights there are aday, I know that it is God’s gift to me that the two seats unused were the two next to me. It probably ended up being the easiest international flight I ever had- I laid down, propped my foot up on the side of the plane and hoped my the people behind me were sympathetic rather than upset that they had 3 people in their row…oh well….
Monday, January 16, 2012
What the Heck is Going On?? (Part 1)
Okay, here is another post I wrote a while ago- November 18th, to be exact. I was still in Germany at the time, about 5 days away from leaving...I never finished it, so I figure I will write Part 2 in a bit...(really, in just a few minutes, I will write it, and my goal is to even post it today- rather than wait a month or two!)...
What the Heck is Going On???
Okay, we’ve all asked that question at times in our lives…(Okay some of you maybe are too kind or good to say “heck” but you’re still asking the same question)…That has been the question in my mind so many times in this little German adventure I’ve had…if we can call it that….
I realized the other day that in the time that I have been here I have continuously tried to label this experience, to evaluate it, process it, and put it into words. I have failed repeatedly. People have asked me so many times how I feel about this or that, and time and again I have said, “I don’t know.” I think trying to figure out culture and my place here, whether on a team, with a family, in a city, etc, has been so difficult because things have shifted so constantly, and I felt like I never fully got my bearings…
Now there is a major shift. Two weeks ago I was playing in a game and I had one of the sweetest blocks I’ve ever had, at a crucial time in the game, against this manly post player, and it felt sooooo good- for about a nano-second. Then I landed on someone’s foot and my foot turned completely under me and that felt sooooooo bad. My mind thought instantly, “I am going home.” Literally- I think that is what was going through my mind as my body made its way down to the floor (which took a while because of my major hang time, you guys know me)…My next thought was “I don’t have insurance.” I knew it was bad. I have had sprained ankles before, but this was like, my foot just folded. I laid on the ground crying instantly…maybe possibly sort of freaking out a little bit…The combination of the pain and of thinking what the injury would mean for me both in my quest to play professionally, and financially, was a lot to handle….
After being carried off the court and laying on the sideline I actually thought, “huh, am I okay? Did I just freak out for nothing?” I will be honest. I had a moment where I was nervous that I was okay. Who wants to be the person who writhes on the ground and then pops back up and walks it off? Not me. I get so annoyed by those people.
I just laid there, watching my team finish the game and also praying. It hit me- there was absolutely nothing I could do about my circumstance. Prior to this moment I had been spending a lot of time trying to figure out what I ought to do to try to stay in Germany, to try to keep working towards playing pro or if I should even do that. I was trying so hard to figure out what to do and I was stressing out. Laying on the floor with my foot up I realized that my situation was out of my hands, and there was actually a bit of relief in that. I realized that I had a choice to make- I could be very upset and anxious about the future, or I could trust God with it. I chose the latter. The funny thing about such choices is, at least for me anyway, it is a choice that must be chosen again and again.
When I tried to get up after the game, I was definitely not able to walk, so that helped alleviate some of the “fear” that I was okay (I am twisted, I know)….The rest of the night I felt frustrated, not just because of my ankle, but more so because our team ended up losing the game. I felt upset with myself for how I had played at the start of the game, if I had played better, maybe we would have been up and we would have been able to pull it out…The choice to keep trusting God would have to be made over and over and over even in one night as my thoughts of frustration would keep bubbling back to the surface.
It was a long drive home with my foot propped up on the dash of the van. We stopped at a gas station halfway and everyone else got out, leaving me alone for a few minutes. Once again I used the time to whisper to God my fears and also my decision to trust Him. I apologized for kinda freaking out on Him at first, and for questioning Him. I felt that in those moments I had responded as though He had never done anything for me. I had responded like something a whole lot more life shattering than an ankle sprain had occurred…It was good to have those moments to talk to Him.
Well, to add to the mix of emotions running through me, and the wondering of “what is going on,” when I got home at like 1 am, I had an email waiting for me- a team in Luxembourg had interest in me. I laughed--what amazing timing (sarcasm)! I wrote back that I am interested, but I JUST sprained my ankle….I had no idea how to feel about that at the time because I had no idea how bad my ankle was or when this team would want me…Of course I was hopeful…
The next morning any lingering doubt about my “pansiness” was relieved (if we can call it that) when I unwrapped my foot to find that bloated, bruised, cankle that I had posted on my Facebook. “Great!” I thought, “I am not as big of a pansy as I feared” (Let’s say that is me seeing the bright side of things)… And then, “Now what? How long is this going to take to heal???”
Talk came up pretty quickly about me going home amongst the people in Germany. Everyone felt it would make sense for me to just recover at home since my visa was about to expire, I could no longer play or coach, and I would just be sitting around. The only thing was, I was waiting to hear about the Luxembourg team. There was a series of emails and conversations. They wanted me to come in 10 days to try out. I would not be ready to try out. Then they wanted me to come in a week and have their doctor check my foot. Then, finally, after it was pretty obvious my injury was going to take at least a few weeks to heal, it was decided it would be best for me to return to the states, fully heal up, and possibly return after Christmas.
It took like a week and a half to get to that conclusion- which was fine because I needed a little time for my foot to heal up enough for me to be able to travel. As soon as the decision was made, my parents booked me a flight home for Monday morning. They work fast.
What the Heck is Going On???
Okay, we’ve all asked that question at times in our lives…(Okay some of you maybe are too kind or good to say “heck” but you’re still asking the same question)…That has been the question in my mind so many times in this little German adventure I’ve had…if we can call it that….
I realized the other day that in the time that I have been here I have continuously tried to label this experience, to evaluate it, process it, and put it into words. I have failed repeatedly. People have asked me so many times how I feel about this or that, and time and again I have said, “I don’t know.” I think trying to figure out culture and my place here, whether on a team, with a family, in a city, etc, has been so difficult because things have shifted so constantly, and I felt like I never fully got my bearings…
Now there is a major shift. Two weeks ago I was playing in a game and I had one of the sweetest blocks I’ve ever had, at a crucial time in the game, against this manly post player, and it felt sooooo good- for about a nano-second. Then I landed on someone’s foot and my foot turned completely under me and that felt sooooooo bad. My mind thought instantly, “I am going home.” Literally- I think that is what was going through my mind as my body made its way down to the floor (which took a while because of my major hang time, you guys know me)…My next thought was “I don’t have insurance.” I knew it was bad. I have had sprained ankles before, but this was like, my foot just folded. I laid on the ground crying instantly…maybe possibly sort of freaking out a little bit…The combination of the pain and of thinking what the injury would mean for me both in my quest to play professionally, and financially, was a lot to handle….
After being carried off the court and laying on the sideline I actually thought, “huh, am I okay? Did I just freak out for nothing?” I will be honest. I had a moment where I was nervous that I was okay. Who wants to be the person who writhes on the ground and then pops back up and walks it off? Not me. I get so annoyed by those people.
I just laid there, watching my team finish the game and also praying. It hit me- there was absolutely nothing I could do about my circumstance. Prior to this moment I had been spending a lot of time trying to figure out what I ought to do to try to stay in Germany, to try to keep working towards playing pro or if I should even do that. I was trying so hard to figure out what to do and I was stressing out. Laying on the floor with my foot up I realized that my situation was out of my hands, and there was actually a bit of relief in that. I realized that I had a choice to make- I could be very upset and anxious about the future, or I could trust God with it. I chose the latter. The funny thing about such choices is, at least for me anyway, it is a choice that must be chosen again and again.
When I tried to get up after the game, I was definitely not able to walk, so that helped alleviate some of the “fear” that I was okay (I am twisted, I know)….The rest of the night I felt frustrated, not just because of my ankle, but more so because our team ended up losing the game. I felt upset with myself for how I had played at the start of the game, if I had played better, maybe we would have been up and we would have been able to pull it out…The choice to keep trusting God would have to be made over and over and over even in one night as my thoughts of frustration would keep bubbling back to the surface.
It was a long drive home with my foot propped up on the dash of the van. We stopped at a gas station halfway and everyone else got out, leaving me alone for a few minutes. Once again I used the time to whisper to God my fears and also my decision to trust Him. I apologized for kinda freaking out on Him at first, and for questioning Him. I felt that in those moments I had responded as though He had never done anything for me. I had responded like something a whole lot more life shattering than an ankle sprain had occurred…It was good to have those moments to talk to Him.
Well, to add to the mix of emotions running through me, and the wondering of “what is going on,” when I got home at like 1 am, I had an email waiting for me- a team in Luxembourg had interest in me. I laughed--what amazing timing (sarcasm)! I wrote back that I am interested, but I JUST sprained my ankle….I had no idea how to feel about that at the time because I had no idea how bad my ankle was or when this team would want me…Of course I was hopeful…
The next morning any lingering doubt about my “pansiness” was relieved (if we can call it that) when I unwrapped my foot to find that bloated, bruised, cankle that I had posted on my Facebook. “Great!” I thought, “I am not as big of a pansy as I feared” (Let’s say that is me seeing the bright side of things)… And then, “Now what? How long is this going to take to heal???”
Talk came up pretty quickly about me going home amongst the people in Germany. Everyone felt it would make sense for me to just recover at home since my visa was about to expire, I could no longer play or coach, and I would just be sitting around. The only thing was, I was waiting to hear about the Luxembourg team. There was a series of emails and conversations. They wanted me to come in 10 days to try out. I would not be ready to try out. Then they wanted me to come in a week and have their doctor check my foot. Then, finally, after it was pretty obvious my injury was going to take at least a few weeks to heal, it was decided it would be best for me to return to the states, fully heal up, and possibly return after Christmas.
It took like a week and a half to get to that conclusion- which was fine because I needed a little time for my foot to heal up enough for me to be able to travel. As soon as the decision was made, my parents booked me a flight home for Monday morning. They work fast.
Coaching Men
This post is really old. I wrote it October 30th, and that was probably a week or two after I had coached...Of course I never actually put it up, because that requires taking 60 seconds out of my 'hectic' life....soooo here it is for anyone who wants to take a little journey back in time....
On Tuesday I got a text message from Marcel asking me to coach his men’s team on Wednesday. Actually it said, “Can you do our practice Wed?” I answered, a little afraid that he was asking me to coach it, “You want me to come play in it or coach it?” Of course coaching is what he wanted.
Marcel has done so much for me to help me be here, how could I say no? I told him yes and waited for further instruction. None came besides the practice time. I asked him if he would be giving me more information. I did not hear back.
On Wed mid-morning I got an email saying that the guys really needed to work a lot on defense and that I should have a lot of fun drills. I text messaged him and asked him how many guys he expected to show up. He responded, 5-12. I told him that makes it pretty hard to plan for, he agreed. Such is the nature of the club teams over here….
I made a list of “fun” and competitive drills that incorporated defense, transition defense, screen defense (although I have no idea what their team philosophy is on defense or on screens)…I figured I needed at least an hour’s worth of drills. Marcel thought he may be there in an hour, practice time is an hour and a half. I figured, if I add water breaks and then time for 5v5 I will be able to fill the whole time if need be.
I got to the gym on Wed night, 15 min till practice time, and just a couple of guys were waiting for me. I walked in to find that the divider for the gym was down, cutting the court into two rooms. Great. No transition drills, no fast break drills, no full court 5 on 5.
More guys started showing up. One of the weirdest things to me about German basketball guys is that they do not use the locker room to change. They just walk into the gym and strip down and put on their basketball clothes. I busied myself with shooting on a hoop while they got ready- not really interested in seeing a bunch of German dudes in their chones.
Kjell walked in the gym, he is on the men’s team as well (a lot of these teams have players anywhere from 16 years old to 30+). He came over to greet me, then told me he had to go bc he had practice. “I know,” I said, “I am coaching your practice today.” He was surprised. I wondered if any of these other guys knew that I was leading the practice…
Once it seemed that everyone was arrived, dressed, and ready to go I asked one of the guys who I knew spoke some English to round everyone up. We all came together. I made a brief introduction:
“Hello, my name is Jessica. Marcel has asked me to coach your practice tonight, I am not entirely sure why, but let’s go.”
I realized later that maybe I should have let them know that I do have some coaching experience, but oh well.
We got into it. Well, most of us. One guy went over and sat down on a mat and started stretching. He continued to do that through most of the practice, then went behind the divider and shot on the other basket. I have no idea why. Another guy started the drill, but after one drill went and sat on the bench and did not participate the rest of the time. "Is he gonna play?" I asked one of the dudes who spoke some English. Dude shrugged, "I guess he is tired."
So we had 9 guys. No 5 v 5 shell. The upside? We could still do my defensive drill that is 4 on 5 and this gave us perfect numbers for 3v3v3. Good thing I had come with a long list of possibilities because my options were getting knocked out left and right.
The guys listened to all of my instructions and went through each drill. The competitive drills seemed to get them going, and I had fun watching them. Here and there I offered some extra instruction, but I had no idea what sort of knowledge these guys really have or how they would take it from a girl. Outwardly, at least, they nodded their heads and seemed to appreciate the tips. I made the losers of the drills run sprints, which for some reason, was somewhat enjoyable to me. Must've been the affects of having some authority...Also, I think it was fun because I think they were surprised I was making practice a little tough. However, it also seemed like they were up for it.
The best drill that we ran was 3 on 3 on 3. In this you have two teams start out on the floor with one on the baseline (teams are 3 players in case somehow that was a question). As soon as one team scores the defense runs off the floor and the new team comes on. The team who scores does not have to check the ball or wait for the defense. They can just grab the ball out of the net and once it is cleared to the 3 pt line it is live to play. It is fun because it is really fast paced, and you can really get going on offense if you are quick to get the ball out of the net. The guys liked this game. At their request we played it a couple of times.
Marcel got into the gym around 9:25, 5 min before practice was over, so I just finished it out. When we were done I let him know that the floor was his. He huddled the team up and, in German, spoke for a couple of minutes. I just stood there, not really knowing what was being said. The group broke up after this and began to get ready to leave. Mission accomplished, I guess.
When we had left the gym, Marcel was also taking another player to the train station. When we got in the car they asked me if I knew what was being said in the huddle. I informed them that I had not the slightest idea, except that there was something about an upcoming game...They informed me that in the huddle the players were telling Marcel that they really liked the practice- in fact they said it was the best practice they had had (which I think Marcel was embellishing to make me feel good) but still, that was good news. However, I was also told that the guy who had done one drill and then sat out the rest of practice had said that he had no idea what I was saying. Oops. I was probably talking way too fast.
All in all, I enjoyed the practice. It was fun to lead a group with such athletic capabilities and also a group that really wanted to compete. I loved the fact that after they played the first round of 3 on 3 on 3 they wanted to play again because the teams who lost wanted an opportunity to redeem themselves.
Also, it must have gone pretty well because a week or so later, I was invited back to coach again :). Maybe I should let the NBA know that I am available...
On Tuesday I got a text message from Marcel asking me to coach his men’s team on Wednesday. Actually it said, “Can you do our practice Wed?” I answered, a little afraid that he was asking me to coach it, “You want me to come play in it or coach it?” Of course coaching is what he wanted.
Marcel has done so much for me to help me be here, how could I say no? I told him yes and waited for further instruction. None came besides the practice time. I asked him if he would be giving me more information. I did not hear back.
On Wed mid-morning I got an email saying that the guys really needed to work a lot on defense and that I should have a lot of fun drills. I text messaged him and asked him how many guys he expected to show up. He responded, 5-12. I told him that makes it pretty hard to plan for, he agreed. Such is the nature of the club teams over here….
I made a list of “fun” and competitive drills that incorporated defense, transition defense, screen defense (although I have no idea what their team philosophy is on defense or on screens)…I figured I needed at least an hour’s worth of drills. Marcel thought he may be there in an hour, practice time is an hour and a half. I figured, if I add water breaks and then time for 5v5 I will be able to fill the whole time if need be.
I got to the gym on Wed night, 15 min till practice time, and just a couple of guys were waiting for me. I walked in to find that the divider for the gym was down, cutting the court into two rooms. Great. No transition drills, no fast break drills, no full court 5 on 5.
More guys started showing up. One of the weirdest things to me about German basketball guys is that they do not use the locker room to change. They just walk into the gym and strip down and put on their basketball clothes. I busied myself with shooting on a hoop while they got ready- not really interested in seeing a bunch of German dudes in their chones.
Kjell walked in the gym, he is on the men’s team as well (a lot of these teams have players anywhere from 16 years old to 30+). He came over to greet me, then told me he had to go bc he had practice. “I know,” I said, “I am coaching your practice today.” He was surprised. I wondered if any of these other guys knew that I was leading the practice…
Once it seemed that everyone was arrived, dressed, and ready to go I asked one of the guys who I knew spoke some English to round everyone up. We all came together. I made a brief introduction:
“Hello, my name is Jessica. Marcel has asked me to coach your practice tonight, I am not entirely sure why, but let’s go.”
I realized later that maybe I should have let them know that I do have some coaching experience, but oh well.
We got into it. Well, most of us. One guy went over and sat down on a mat and started stretching. He continued to do that through most of the practice, then went behind the divider and shot on the other basket. I have no idea why. Another guy started the drill, but after one drill went and sat on the bench and did not participate the rest of the time. "Is he gonna play?" I asked one of the dudes who spoke some English. Dude shrugged, "I guess he is tired."
So we had 9 guys. No 5 v 5 shell. The upside? We could still do my defensive drill that is 4 on 5 and this gave us perfect numbers for 3v3v3. Good thing I had come with a long list of possibilities because my options were getting knocked out left and right.
The guys listened to all of my instructions and went through each drill. The competitive drills seemed to get them going, and I had fun watching them. Here and there I offered some extra instruction, but I had no idea what sort of knowledge these guys really have or how they would take it from a girl. Outwardly, at least, they nodded their heads and seemed to appreciate the tips. I made the losers of the drills run sprints, which for some reason, was somewhat enjoyable to me. Must've been the affects of having some authority...Also, I think it was fun because I think they were surprised I was making practice a little tough. However, it also seemed like they were up for it.
The best drill that we ran was 3 on 3 on 3. In this you have two teams start out on the floor with one on the baseline (teams are 3 players in case somehow that was a question). As soon as one team scores the defense runs off the floor and the new team comes on. The team who scores does not have to check the ball or wait for the defense. They can just grab the ball out of the net and once it is cleared to the 3 pt line it is live to play. It is fun because it is really fast paced, and you can really get going on offense if you are quick to get the ball out of the net. The guys liked this game. At their request we played it a couple of times.
Marcel got into the gym around 9:25, 5 min before practice was over, so I just finished it out. When we were done I let him know that the floor was his. He huddled the team up and, in German, spoke for a couple of minutes. I just stood there, not really knowing what was being said. The group broke up after this and began to get ready to leave. Mission accomplished, I guess.
When we had left the gym, Marcel was also taking another player to the train station. When we got in the car they asked me if I knew what was being said in the huddle. I informed them that I had not the slightest idea, except that there was something about an upcoming game...They informed me that in the huddle the players were telling Marcel that they really liked the practice- in fact they said it was the best practice they had had (which I think Marcel was embellishing to make me feel good) but still, that was good news. However, I was also told that the guy who had done one drill and then sat out the rest of practice had said that he had no idea what I was saying. Oops. I was probably talking way too fast.
All in all, I enjoyed the practice. It was fun to lead a group with such athletic capabilities and also a group that really wanted to compete. I loved the fact that after they played the first round of 3 on 3 on 3 they wanted to play again because the teams who lost wanted an opportunity to redeem themselves.
Also, it must have gone pretty well because a week or so later, I was invited back to coach again :). Maybe I should let the NBA know that I am available...
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Life on a Napkin
Well…it has been a little while since I blogged. No surprise there. I guess there are so many things to say and so little to say all at the same time. I could write more of events and little stories that have happened here, but instead here are some of my musings… Here is something I wrote the other day, on a napkin in the train:
(I had a fit of inspiration and ran into the bakery near the train stop to grab napkins for paper before running to jump on my train into town)…
(Every story is better with pictures right? So here's the napkin...deciphering it later was somewhat challenging...)
“Last night once again I was walking home in the dark. There are always parts of the path that are light and parts that are not, but a street light must’ve gone out that night bc there was a stretch of darkness that was much longer and darker than usual. “This is my life,” I thought “I literally cannot see the step in front of me, but I have to take it. I am choosing to trust God to get me home unscathed.”
In life there are times where we feel we are under the lamp light- the way seems clear, the path sure, and we go merrily and confidently on our way without much thought…But then we have those other moments where every step feels unsure, we don’t know where our foot will land or whether we will hit flat ground or a pothole.
As I contemplated how to navigate through the darkness another thought hit me- darkness this black is always good for something- I looked up and sure enough, a million stars were shining in their beautiful constellations.
Talk about a confidence boost. The creator of all of that is also planning my life. I began to converse with Him, as I often do on this walk, whispering out loud the details of my life that seem to need clarity, provision, encouragement, strength- not so much because I think the Creator doesn’t know them, but more so to just get it off my chest before Him.
It seems that God, in making us in His image, did not neglect giving us a desire to plan. I find this interesting (okay and honestly, annoying). He lets us plan ad we have a desire to plan and the freedom to plan, but ultimately He does the planning and He makes us wait on Him. Another thought is how God is a communicator, but it feels like so often He limits His communication. I know, I know. Right now You are telling me, “that is so we learn to trust Him.” I get it. I just find it interesting that in all of our relationships we pound home the importance of communication, saying things like “we can’t read minds!” This is exactly what frustrates me with people, when I feel like they won’t just tell me what they are thinking, and I have carried this over to how I respond to God. I want Him to just tell me everything on His mind, because I am having such a hard time trying to read it. “
My napkin journal ended there. But this strain of thinking has continued all week. This morning I just got on my knees again and told God I want to do whatever He wants. I asked Him to show me His hand in what currently feels like limbo to me. I literally pictured myself yesterday, as though trapped in an hour glass that has been turned on its side. I think I am definitely of that brand of person who wants to feel progression. I want to know that I have advanced since the day that I set my foot in Germany. I think it has been hard feeling like the picture of what all this is meant to be is so hazy, how can you measure if you are meeting a goal if you are unsure of what the goal is? I thought when I came that it was to play basketball in the first league. I am not sure if that is my purpose here anymore. As much as I am a verbal person, I want to quantify things. I want to have a list and check things off, to see productivity clearly…
All of this leaves me in a place where I live one day at a time. I know this is a good place to be, but I wrestle with it, a million times a day. There are moments where I submit to the hold and I relax and say I will keep riding this wave and see what happens. Then, as I do so often in the ocean, when I cannot see what is around me beneath the surface of the water, I panic for a moment. I want to know that the ground is still there, and that nothing sinister is coming at me in the water. I want to feel stable, I want to feel secure. But in the ocean, part of the thrill is that you do not know exactly what is coming.
How does this all come full circle? I keep talking it through with the Creator. I keep telling him that although I cannot read His mind I will trust Him and I will enjoy the waves instead of letting fear get a hold of me.
The other night I was talking with my coach on one of our long drives home. We were talking about fear and what scares us. I told him that one of the biggest fears that I have in my life is that I will waste it. I have to trust God even in this, that these days are not purposeless. This morning a new picture came into my head- a Rubic’s cube. I have never solved one of those things, but I am always amazed watching someone do it. It always looks like they make turns and twists that are regressing…you see all these yellow squares coming together then suddenly they “mess it all up”…they go back to each side having multiple colors again...but in the end, those turns that seem to get you nowhere or seem to be steps back, end up solving the puzzle. God is twisting and turning my life, and to me it can seem random. But if He made the stars, then surely my little Rubic’s cube is not a problem...I find solace in His good hands making the turns in my life...
For those of you hoping for a laugh:
The other day on the bus a young mom came and sat next to me with her little baby girl. She heard me on my cell phone asking my friend for clarity on directions and when I got off the phone she asked me if I still needed help finding my way.
Me: (in my head) What?! A stranger spoke to me!?
We continued talking (mostly, SHE continued talking) and of course, she is Serbian. Not German. So the rule that German strangers do not talk still applies.
Anyway…so we are chatting/playing with her baby girl who was beyond adorable and she asks me, “do you have children?”
“Nope” I reply, “no children.”
She is aghast. “How OLD are you?!” (Let’s keep in mind that most people assume I’m a lot younger than I actually am)…I reply with a slightly uncomfortable chuckle, “I am 28.” (Yes, I did have to pause to remember that)…
Serbian Momma: ”And you don’t have CHILDREN?! What? You don’t like children?!”
Me: (a little stunned at how this conversation just turned)“Uh yes, of course I like children! I just don’t have any yet!”
She was mystified.
(I had a fit of inspiration and ran into the bakery near the train stop to grab napkins for paper before running to jump on my train into town)…
(Every story is better with pictures right? So here's the napkin...deciphering it later was somewhat challenging...)“Last night once again I was walking home in the dark. There are always parts of the path that are light and parts that are not, but a street light must’ve gone out that night bc there was a stretch of darkness that was much longer and darker than usual. “This is my life,” I thought “I literally cannot see the step in front of me, but I have to take it. I am choosing to trust God to get me home unscathed.”
In life there are times where we feel we are under the lamp light- the way seems clear, the path sure, and we go merrily and confidently on our way without much thought…But then we have those other moments where every step feels unsure, we don’t know where our foot will land or whether we will hit flat ground or a pothole.
As I contemplated how to navigate through the darkness another thought hit me- darkness this black is always good for something- I looked up and sure enough, a million stars were shining in their beautiful constellations.
Talk about a confidence boost. The creator of all of that is also planning my life. I began to converse with Him, as I often do on this walk, whispering out loud the details of my life that seem to need clarity, provision, encouragement, strength- not so much because I think the Creator doesn’t know them, but more so to just get it off my chest before Him.
It seems that God, in making us in His image, did not neglect giving us a desire to plan. I find this interesting (okay and honestly, annoying). He lets us plan ad we have a desire to plan and the freedom to plan, but ultimately He does the planning and He makes us wait on Him. Another thought is how God is a communicator, but it feels like so often He limits His communication. I know, I know. Right now You are telling me, “that is so we learn to trust Him.” I get it. I just find it interesting that in all of our relationships we pound home the importance of communication, saying things like “we can’t read minds!” This is exactly what frustrates me with people, when I feel like they won’t just tell me what they are thinking, and I have carried this over to how I respond to God. I want Him to just tell me everything on His mind, because I am having such a hard time trying to read it. “
My napkin journal ended there. But this strain of thinking has continued all week. This morning I just got on my knees again and told God I want to do whatever He wants. I asked Him to show me His hand in what currently feels like limbo to me. I literally pictured myself yesterday, as though trapped in an hour glass that has been turned on its side. I think I am definitely of that brand of person who wants to feel progression. I want to know that I have advanced since the day that I set my foot in Germany. I think it has been hard feeling like the picture of what all this is meant to be is so hazy, how can you measure if you are meeting a goal if you are unsure of what the goal is? I thought when I came that it was to play basketball in the first league. I am not sure if that is my purpose here anymore. As much as I am a verbal person, I want to quantify things. I want to have a list and check things off, to see productivity clearly…
All of this leaves me in a place where I live one day at a time. I know this is a good place to be, but I wrestle with it, a million times a day. There are moments where I submit to the hold and I relax and say I will keep riding this wave and see what happens. Then, as I do so often in the ocean, when I cannot see what is around me beneath the surface of the water, I panic for a moment. I want to know that the ground is still there, and that nothing sinister is coming at me in the water. I want to feel stable, I want to feel secure. But in the ocean, part of the thrill is that you do not know exactly what is coming.
How does this all come full circle? I keep talking it through with the Creator. I keep telling him that although I cannot read His mind I will trust Him and I will enjoy the waves instead of letting fear get a hold of me.
The other night I was talking with my coach on one of our long drives home. We were talking about fear and what scares us. I told him that one of the biggest fears that I have in my life is that I will waste it. I have to trust God even in this, that these days are not purposeless. This morning a new picture came into my head- a Rubic’s cube. I have never solved one of those things, but I am always amazed watching someone do it. It always looks like they make turns and twists that are regressing…you see all these yellow squares coming together then suddenly they “mess it all up”…they go back to each side having multiple colors again...but in the end, those turns that seem to get you nowhere or seem to be steps back, end up solving the puzzle. God is twisting and turning my life, and to me it can seem random. But if He made the stars, then surely my little Rubic’s cube is not a problem...I find solace in His good hands making the turns in my life...
For those of you hoping for a laugh:
The other day on the bus a young mom came and sat next to me with her little baby girl. She heard me on my cell phone asking my friend for clarity on directions and when I got off the phone she asked me if I still needed help finding my way.
Me: (in my head) What?! A stranger spoke to me!?
We continued talking (mostly, SHE continued talking) and of course, she is Serbian. Not German. So the rule that German strangers do not talk still applies.
Anyway…so we are chatting/playing with her baby girl who was beyond adorable and she asks me, “do you have children?”
“Nope” I reply, “no children.”
She is aghast. “How OLD are you?!” (Let’s keep in mind that most people assume I’m a lot younger than I actually am)…I reply with a slightly uncomfortable chuckle, “I am 28.” (Yes, I did have to pause to remember that)…
Serbian Momma: ”And you don’t have CHILDREN?! What? You don’t like children?!”
Me: (a little stunned at how this conversation just turned)“Uh yes, of course I like children! I just don’t have any yet!”
She was mystified.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Adventures in Nauen
So I have so many things I could write about, but I decided to just share one story today. This is a little story about my love-hate relationship with the trains here in Berlin. It is mostly a hate relationship at this point.
Since I have been here there have been numerous times when I have gone to catch a train and the train has been late by more than 15 minutes. Thankfully for me, it is not usually too big of a problem outside of making people wait for me (which of course is frustrating). But the last few days it has been worse than that. Apparently one method of vandalism here is for people to set ‘fire bombs’ that mess with certain trains' power systems. I can not explain it more than that because frankly, I don’t get it. The other night I was coming home on a train around 10:30 PM and our train stopped at a station just one station away from mine and waited there for over half an hour. I found out it was because of this sort of vandalism. It was not too big of a deal, it just didn’t make me the happiest to be walking home at midnight after we finally go to my stop.
Last night however, took the cake. I was in a part of the city called Zehlendorf (not close to Falkensee at all) around 8:30 pm when I started heading home. I was thinking it would have been better if I had left sooner, but thought, oh well, it will still be around 10 pm when I get home...not too late... I got on the Subway no problem and pretty easily found my connecting subway line. Two lines down, just one train ride to go and I was home free. I found the train I always take. The sign said it was arriving on time, I was good to go. I just had to wait maybe 15 minutes. I was cold and tired and eager to get home. I paced back and forth on the platform to try to warm myself up. I laughed at the fact that I was wearing a jacket, two scarves and a beanie AND had my hood on over my head, and this is FALL. Not winter. It was about 34 degrees F outside…to this desert rat, freezing.
The train arrived and I was happy to get on. I sat and looked at my pathetic self in the reflection of the window opposite of me. I had my headphones in with music playing from my phone. I looked down at my phone and thought, maybe I should take a picture of myself right now, to document how pathetic I am in the fall.
Isn't that pathetic?
I looked at my phone and saw that my battery was dying. I decided I had better shut off my music to save some battery juice, just in case. I thought to myself, ‘I am almost home, it is probably fine, you won’t need your phone.’ But then I thought ‘better be safe than sorry.’
Praise God.
The train did not stop in Falkensee. At one point we stopped, I think in a tunnel because I could not see anything out the window, and just waited for about 5 or 10 minutes. Not a good sign, that was what happened last time when there was vandalism. But then the train started up again. I was worried though, ‘will we stop in Falkensee? Why does it feel like we have been riding for so long?’ But the sign inside the train still read that the next stop was Falkensee, and there were no announcements coming on…
Sure enough though, when we finally stopped we were in Nauen. I don’t even know where Nauen is except that it is past my stop. All I knew next was that there was NO ONE at this train station and it was nearly 11 PM….I walked down the stairs to check the train schedule. It said there would be another train coming, but of course up on the platform the signs were either blank or said that the trains were NOT coming.
I walked back downstairs and out of the train stop. The parking lot was mostly dark and I looked at the bus schedules, already knowing that they would have stopped running by now. Yep. I text messaged my coach. Then I looked down, my battery light was definitely yellow. ‘Oh God, please let my battery stay alive! Please don’t leave me stranded out here with no phone!’ The battery sign went back to green…
At this point I don’t remember if I called my coach or he called me, but he let me know he was calling the train co. to see what I should do. I paced, trying to keep warm. I decided I had better try my host family before my battery died. At this point it was probably 1130 PM and I knew they were probably sleeping. I really did not want to call them and wake them up but I really did not know what else to do. I was in some random town late at night and my phone was back to yellow….No answer…I waited a few more minutes and Timur called me back, there would be no trains at all and a bus would not come for two more hours…He told me he would come and get me. He also told me that his phone was dying, I laughed, ‘mine too!’ He told me to switch my phone off for half an hour (his estimation of how long it might take him to get there)…
While I was waiting a bus pulled up and some guys got out, they all went to their bikes or cars and left…At that point I spotted a teenage boy I had seen on my train. I walked over to him, and the conversation followed:
Me: Where are you trying to go?
Teenage Boy: There are no more trains.
Me: Yes I know that, but where are you trying to go?
T.B.: There are no more trains, no trains come.
Me: Yes yes, no trains. (now more slowly) Where…are…you…trying …to…go?
T.B.: Falkensee.
Me: REALLY? How are you getting there?
T.B.: (looking at me like I am the strangest person he has ever met)My father is coming.
Me: (without hesitating)Can I have a ride? (what has overcome me that I would just ask some random dude for a ride? Living in a foreign country changes you)
T.B.: (now looking at me like I have grown an extra head or two) That bus there will go to Falkensee (pointing to a bus parked at the back of the lot with no one in it, lights off)…
Me: (pretending that I am not offended) Oh, okay, thank you!
At this point I wasn’t trusting anyone about the bus except the bus driver. The first bus that had dropped some guys off was still there and there were two drives inside. I assumed one of them must have been for the bus at the back of the lot. I went and paced back and forth in front of the bus, trying to figure out if I should wait for the door to open or go pound on the window. I stuck with the pacing (dumb). Finally the dude opened the door. I walked up, ‘Excuse me, is that bus over there going to Falkensee?’ The dude told me yes, in another ten minutes or so.
I tried to call Timur to let him know he did not have to come after all. I got his voicemail. Shoot…did he turn off his phone to save his battery also?
Decision time…do I hop on the bus and hope that I can reach Timur, risking that he will drive all the way out to Nauen and I am not there? Do I stand here and let the bus take off and hope Timur is not annoyed that a bus came and he still drove all the way to get me? I waited a few minutes and called again. Voicemail. Shooooooooooooot! I heard the bus start up and saw the lights come on…I just stood there…The boy had left by now in his comfy ride with his dad…(wish I could say I hadn't felt ill will towards him as they pulled away)...I was the only person there. Again.
The driver waited a few minutes then he came out and found me, ‘Are you coming to Falkensee?’ I tried explaining to him my situation, I am not sure how much he got. ‘No bus?’ He said back to me….
’No,' I sighed, 'no bus. Thank you though, very much!’ He shrugged and walked away…
My phone literally rang about a minute and a half later. Timur. I answered laughing. ‘Timur, a bus was JUST here going to Falkensee!’
Timur: Oh are you on it??
Me: Nooooooooooo! I couldn’t get a hold of you, I was afraid you were going to drive all the way out here and I would be gone!
Timur: So you are not on the bus?
Me: (doing the half laugh, half cry) nooooooo
Timur: Are you laughing or crying?
Me: I don’t know. Laughing.
Timur: Ok, I am on my way and when I get there, you better be smiling. Be strong. I will be there in 20 more minutes.
Back to pacing. He was right. Why was I being such a pansy? So I was cold and alone in a town in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country. I had someone coming to get me. I had a jacket on. I had a choice to make to laugh or cry. I would laugh.
I walked up and down the train tunnel about 5000 times. Then I decided to walk the stairs. I prayed for every person I have met in Germany. I sang a few songs. I mastered the stairs.
10 minutes later my phone rang. Timur, 'are you still at the train station?'
Me: laughing and thinking `where could I possibly have gone?' Uh, yeah
Timur: I will be there in five minutes.
It might have been five minutes, I don't know. I kept doing stairs till my phone rang. Timur. I picked up but he was gone. I walked out of the tunnel. I heard my name, Timur was walking up to me. I thought ‘huh, he didn’t have to get out of the car.’ Then we started walking across the parking lot as he explained to me that the route his navigational system gave him took him through construction and the road was blocked so he had just parked the car and walked the last 400 M. I started cracking up. So did he, of course that happened!
I apologized that he had to come get me. He told me it was great because in his 23 years he has never been to Nauen and now he got to see it.
We walked to the car. At this point it was after 1 am. I told Timur about my phone battery, how I thanked God that I had seen that my battery was dying while on the train listening to my music.
I thanked Timur about a hundred times for driving all the way out to get me. When I got home, I thanked God again for keeping my battery alive. Every time it moved to yellow or even to red, I had prayed again and every time God gave it some new life. I thanked Him also for giving me people who I can call when I need help and I thanked him that I did not have to sleep in the freezing train station in Nauen last night.
Since I have been here there have been numerous times when I have gone to catch a train and the train has been late by more than 15 minutes. Thankfully for me, it is not usually too big of a problem outside of making people wait for me (which of course is frustrating). But the last few days it has been worse than that. Apparently one method of vandalism here is for people to set ‘fire bombs’ that mess with certain trains' power systems. I can not explain it more than that because frankly, I don’t get it. The other night I was coming home on a train around 10:30 PM and our train stopped at a station just one station away from mine and waited there for over half an hour. I found out it was because of this sort of vandalism. It was not too big of a deal, it just didn’t make me the happiest to be walking home at midnight after we finally go to my stop.
Last night however, took the cake. I was in a part of the city called Zehlendorf (not close to Falkensee at all) around 8:30 pm when I started heading home. I was thinking it would have been better if I had left sooner, but thought, oh well, it will still be around 10 pm when I get home...not too late... I got on the Subway no problem and pretty easily found my connecting subway line. Two lines down, just one train ride to go and I was home free. I found the train I always take. The sign said it was arriving on time, I was good to go. I just had to wait maybe 15 minutes. I was cold and tired and eager to get home. I paced back and forth on the platform to try to warm myself up. I laughed at the fact that I was wearing a jacket, two scarves and a beanie AND had my hood on over my head, and this is FALL. Not winter. It was about 34 degrees F outside…to this desert rat, freezing.
The train arrived and I was happy to get on. I sat and looked at my pathetic self in the reflection of the window opposite of me. I had my headphones in with music playing from my phone. I looked down at my phone and thought, maybe I should take a picture of myself right now, to document how pathetic I am in the fall.
Isn't that pathetic?
I looked at my phone and saw that my battery was dying. I decided I had better shut off my music to save some battery juice, just in case. I thought to myself, ‘I am almost home, it is probably fine, you won’t need your phone.’ But then I thought ‘better be safe than sorry.’
Praise God.
The train did not stop in Falkensee. At one point we stopped, I think in a tunnel because I could not see anything out the window, and just waited for about 5 or 10 minutes. Not a good sign, that was what happened last time when there was vandalism. But then the train started up again. I was worried though, ‘will we stop in Falkensee? Why does it feel like we have been riding for so long?’ But the sign inside the train still read that the next stop was Falkensee, and there were no announcements coming on…
Sure enough though, when we finally stopped we were in Nauen. I don’t even know where Nauen is except that it is past my stop. All I knew next was that there was NO ONE at this train station and it was nearly 11 PM….I walked down the stairs to check the train schedule. It said there would be another train coming, but of course up on the platform the signs were either blank or said that the trains were NOT coming.
I walked back downstairs and out of the train stop. The parking lot was mostly dark and I looked at the bus schedules, already knowing that they would have stopped running by now. Yep. I text messaged my coach. Then I looked down, my battery light was definitely yellow. ‘Oh God, please let my battery stay alive! Please don’t leave me stranded out here with no phone!’ The battery sign went back to green…
At this point I don’t remember if I called my coach or he called me, but he let me know he was calling the train co. to see what I should do. I paced, trying to keep warm. I decided I had better try my host family before my battery died. At this point it was probably 1130 PM and I knew they were probably sleeping. I really did not want to call them and wake them up but I really did not know what else to do. I was in some random town late at night and my phone was back to yellow….No answer…I waited a few more minutes and Timur called me back, there would be no trains at all and a bus would not come for two more hours…He told me he would come and get me. He also told me that his phone was dying, I laughed, ‘mine too!’ He told me to switch my phone off for half an hour (his estimation of how long it might take him to get there)…
While I was waiting a bus pulled up and some guys got out, they all went to their bikes or cars and left…At that point I spotted a teenage boy I had seen on my train. I walked over to him, and the conversation followed:
Me: Where are you trying to go?
Teenage Boy: There are no more trains.
Me: Yes I know that, but where are you trying to go?
T.B.: There are no more trains, no trains come.
Me: Yes yes, no trains. (now more slowly) Where…are…you…trying …to…go?
T.B.: Falkensee.
Me: REALLY? How are you getting there?
T.B.: (looking at me like I am the strangest person he has ever met)My father is coming.
Me: (without hesitating)Can I have a ride? (what has overcome me that I would just ask some random dude for a ride? Living in a foreign country changes you)
T.B.: (now looking at me like I have grown an extra head or two) That bus there will go to Falkensee (pointing to a bus parked at the back of the lot with no one in it, lights off)…
Me: (pretending that I am not offended) Oh, okay, thank you!
At this point I wasn’t trusting anyone about the bus except the bus driver. The first bus that had dropped some guys off was still there and there were two drives inside. I assumed one of them must have been for the bus at the back of the lot. I went and paced back and forth in front of the bus, trying to figure out if I should wait for the door to open or go pound on the window. I stuck with the pacing (dumb). Finally the dude opened the door. I walked up, ‘Excuse me, is that bus over there going to Falkensee?’ The dude told me yes, in another ten minutes or so.
I tried to call Timur to let him know he did not have to come after all. I got his voicemail. Shoot…did he turn off his phone to save his battery also?
Decision time…do I hop on the bus and hope that I can reach Timur, risking that he will drive all the way out to Nauen and I am not there? Do I stand here and let the bus take off and hope Timur is not annoyed that a bus came and he still drove all the way to get me? I waited a few minutes and called again. Voicemail. Shooooooooooooot! I heard the bus start up and saw the lights come on…I just stood there…The boy had left by now in his comfy ride with his dad…(wish I could say I hadn't felt ill will towards him as they pulled away)...I was the only person there. Again.
The driver waited a few minutes then he came out and found me, ‘Are you coming to Falkensee?’ I tried explaining to him my situation, I am not sure how much he got. ‘No bus?’ He said back to me….
’No,' I sighed, 'no bus. Thank you though, very much!’ He shrugged and walked away…
My phone literally rang about a minute and a half later. Timur. I answered laughing. ‘Timur, a bus was JUST here going to Falkensee!’
Timur: Oh are you on it??
Me: Nooooooooooo! I couldn’t get a hold of you, I was afraid you were going to drive all the way out here and I would be gone!
Timur: So you are not on the bus?
Me: (doing the half laugh, half cry) nooooooo
Timur: Are you laughing or crying?
Me: I don’t know. Laughing.
Timur: Ok, I am on my way and when I get there, you better be smiling. Be strong. I will be there in 20 more minutes.
Back to pacing. He was right. Why was I being such a pansy? So I was cold and alone in a town in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country. I had someone coming to get me. I had a jacket on. I had a choice to make to laugh or cry. I would laugh.
I walked up and down the train tunnel about 5000 times. Then I decided to walk the stairs. I prayed for every person I have met in Germany. I sang a few songs. I mastered the stairs.
10 minutes later my phone rang. Timur, 'are you still at the train station?'
Me: laughing and thinking `where could I possibly have gone?' Uh, yeah
Timur: I will be there in five minutes.
It might have been five minutes, I don't know. I kept doing stairs till my phone rang. Timur. I picked up but he was gone. I walked out of the tunnel. I heard my name, Timur was walking up to me. I thought ‘huh, he didn’t have to get out of the car.’ Then we started walking across the parking lot as he explained to me that the route his navigational system gave him took him through construction and the road was blocked so he had just parked the car and walked the last 400 M. I started cracking up. So did he, of course that happened!
I apologized that he had to come get me. He told me it was great because in his 23 years he has never been to Nauen and now he got to see it.
We walked to the car. At this point it was after 1 am. I told Timur about my phone battery, how I thanked God that I had seen that my battery was dying while on the train listening to my music.
I thanked Timur about a hundred times for driving all the way out to get me. When I got home, I thanked God again for keeping my battery alive. Every time it moved to yellow or even to red, I had prayed again and every time God gave it some new life. I thanked Him also for giving me people who I can call when I need help and I thanked him that I did not have to sleep in the freezing train station in Nauen last night.
Monday, October 3, 2011
First Regular Season Game
Well Saturday was our first regular season game...you probably picked that up from my über creative title, huh? Well I woke up Saturday morning the way I usually do (this has not changed from when I lived in the States)...me thinking, 'what day is it? Why am I awake? What should I be doing?' Think think think...I happily remembered, 'It's GAME DAY!'...
We were supposed to have a home game, but due to some sort of scheduling conflict we played at a gym in Berlin somewhere far far away...(someday I will know the geography of this place)...
We got to the gym about an hour and a half before our game. There was a small crowd of 6-11 (guesstimate) year old girls outside the gym- we had cheerleaders! Ha ha! Some cheerleading club asked us if they could cheer at our games as practice...
We went in and found our locker room and started getting ready...I was all dressed but I had to go to the bathroom. The bathroom in our locker room, of course, did not have toilet paper...Decided to just wait and go later.
We went out and started warming up. I had on my new Lebron Soldier's which I had just bought the day before at Nike Town. I had gone there three different times to try on shoes, to make sure I really liked the ones I got because I have had issues with the last three pairs of basketball shoes I have bought. I also brought my Kobe's with me just in case having new shoes on bothered my feet...The Lebrons felt good for about thirty minutes. Then, when going through the layup line I felt a sharp pain in my left arch, where the flywire on my shoe seemed to be giving way. I started praying that my shoes would be okay...
About 20 min before game time our team went back into the locker room to meet. Coach gave us some instructions and a motivational pre game talk. I still had to go to the bathroom. On the way back out to the court (which involved going down a hall way and a flight of stairs) I tried going into two other locker rooms to see if their bathrooms had toilet paper- strike two and strike three...I ran out to the court to ask the people working the table where I could find a bathroom with toilet paper. The guy I asked said, 'huh, good question' and referred me to someone else. This man told me my best bet was the restroom upstairs in the lobby.
At this point there were 6 minutes left on the clock for warm up time. I ran back out of the gym, up the stairs, down the hallway, and to the bathroom in the lobby...No toilet paper. No paper towels either. 'What is the matter with these people?'
I ran to the snack bar and asked for a couple napkins, ran back to the bathroom and quickly took care of business and back down to the court...I got there with 27 seconds of warm up time remaining. I ran to get back in the layup line and my arch was still bothering me. I went to the bench to try tying my shoes tighter, to see if that helped my arch get more support. Of course with the straps on my shoe that have to be undone to mess with the shoe laces this took me some time. Everyone was on the court waiting for me. I tried to hurry, with my teammates making fun of me that I need help tying my shoes...I ran out onto the court, said hi to everyone (here you usually go and high five each of the opponents and say hello and shake the ref's hand before you start), tucked in my shirt at the ref's command, and got ready to play.
We started out the first few minutes in a blaze. We couldn't miss. If we did miss, we crashed the offensive boards and got the put back or the foul. Everything was going great- except for my arch...I decided I had better take care of it before I ended up with an injury. While one of my teammates was shooting a freethrow, I told my coach I needed a quick sub. We had been playing for maybe 3 or 4 minutes at this point. I went out and changed back into my Kobe's, then got subbed right back in.
The game went much like some of the other games we have played. We rocketed out to a lead, something like 19-4, then started cooling off a little bit. We then would go through streaks of scoring and streaks of turnovers or defensive breakdowns. With all that though, I think we went into halftime up by about 20+ points.
In this game I shot okay. I missed two shots I should have made- one a put back after getting an offensive rebound at the free throw line, and the other a shot I tried to tip in on my teammate's fast break layup.
I hit a couple of threes, one off the dribble and one on a skip pass. I think my most important basket came in the third quarter when we hit a slump and hadn't scored in a few minutes. We were struggling against their zone, I got the ball on the right wing and dribbled across the key, through the defense and made a step through to finish with my left hand and pick up a foul. I finished the FT for the 3 pt play to help our team get a little momentum.
My dumbest play of the game was when I got a steal and went out on the fast break, my 6'4" post player running the floor with me. We had a 2 on 1 and I wish I had passed Louisa the ball, but I thought I might have a better chance of finishing the play myself. The defender jumped in front of me and I trucked her. She was certainly moving, but it didn't matter. Ref called me for charging and we missed the opportunity. I should have passed...
The game was really fun overall. We had a good sized crowd out from our club and they were into the game. It was fun to hear them get excited for us in good plays in the game!
Everyone was excited when the game finished and we had won our first regular season game by (I think) 23 points. Dani, our other starting wing, finished as the high scorer with 23 points herself. In the first quarter she was on a rampage! (My final stat line was 13 pts, I think 8 rebounds and 5 steals)...
Now we are getting ready for next weekend. My teammates say the team will be much better, the other team has 2 or 3 Americans...Tini said 'yeah, we have just one American, and we got the skinny one.' Huh...
We were supposed to have a home game, but due to some sort of scheduling conflict we played at a gym in Berlin somewhere far far away...(someday I will know the geography of this place)...
We got to the gym about an hour and a half before our game. There was a small crowd of 6-11 (guesstimate) year old girls outside the gym- we had cheerleaders! Ha ha! Some cheerleading club asked us if they could cheer at our games as practice...
We went in and found our locker room and started getting ready...I was all dressed but I had to go to the bathroom. The bathroom in our locker room, of course, did not have toilet paper...Decided to just wait and go later.
We went out and started warming up. I had on my new Lebron Soldier's which I had just bought the day before at Nike Town. I had gone there three different times to try on shoes, to make sure I really liked the ones I got because I have had issues with the last three pairs of basketball shoes I have bought. I also brought my Kobe's with me just in case having new shoes on bothered my feet...The Lebrons felt good for about thirty minutes. Then, when going through the layup line I felt a sharp pain in my left arch, where the flywire on my shoe seemed to be giving way. I started praying that my shoes would be okay...
About 20 min before game time our team went back into the locker room to meet. Coach gave us some instructions and a motivational pre game talk. I still had to go to the bathroom. On the way back out to the court (which involved going down a hall way and a flight of stairs) I tried going into two other locker rooms to see if their bathrooms had toilet paper- strike two and strike three...I ran out to the court to ask the people working the table where I could find a bathroom with toilet paper. The guy I asked said, 'huh, good question' and referred me to someone else. This man told me my best bet was the restroom upstairs in the lobby.
At this point there were 6 minutes left on the clock for warm up time. I ran back out of the gym, up the stairs, down the hallway, and to the bathroom in the lobby...No toilet paper. No paper towels either. 'What is the matter with these people?'
I ran to the snack bar and asked for a couple napkins, ran back to the bathroom and quickly took care of business and back down to the court...I got there with 27 seconds of warm up time remaining. I ran to get back in the layup line and my arch was still bothering me. I went to the bench to try tying my shoes tighter, to see if that helped my arch get more support. Of course with the straps on my shoe that have to be undone to mess with the shoe laces this took me some time. Everyone was on the court waiting for me. I tried to hurry, with my teammates making fun of me that I need help tying my shoes...I ran out onto the court, said hi to everyone (here you usually go and high five each of the opponents and say hello and shake the ref's hand before you start), tucked in my shirt at the ref's command, and got ready to play.
We started out the first few minutes in a blaze. We couldn't miss. If we did miss, we crashed the offensive boards and got the put back or the foul. Everything was going great- except for my arch...I decided I had better take care of it before I ended up with an injury. While one of my teammates was shooting a freethrow, I told my coach I needed a quick sub. We had been playing for maybe 3 or 4 minutes at this point. I went out and changed back into my Kobe's, then got subbed right back in.
The game went much like some of the other games we have played. We rocketed out to a lead, something like 19-4, then started cooling off a little bit. We then would go through streaks of scoring and streaks of turnovers or defensive breakdowns. With all that though, I think we went into halftime up by about 20+ points.
In this game I shot okay. I missed two shots I should have made- one a put back after getting an offensive rebound at the free throw line, and the other a shot I tried to tip in on my teammate's fast break layup.
I hit a couple of threes, one off the dribble and one on a skip pass. I think my most important basket came in the third quarter when we hit a slump and hadn't scored in a few minutes. We were struggling against their zone, I got the ball on the right wing and dribbled across the key, through the defense and made a step through to finish with my left hand and pick up a foul. I finished the FT for the 3 pt play to help our team get a little momentum.
My dumbest play of the game was when I got a steal and went out on the fast break, my 6'4" post player running the floor with me. We had a 2 on 1 and I wish I had passed Louisa the ball, but I thought I might have a better chance of finishing the play myself. The defender jumped in front of me and I trucked her. She was certainly moving, but it didn't matter. Ref called me for charging and we missed the opportunity. I should have passed...
The game was really fun overall. We had a good sized crowd out from our club and they were into the game. It was fun to hear them get excited for us in good plays in the game!
Everyone was excited when the game finished and we had won our first regular season game by (I think) 23 points. Dani, our other starting wing, finished as the high scorer with 23 points herself. In the first quarter she was on a rampage! (My final stat line was 13 pts, I think 8 rebounds and 5 steals)...
Now we are getting ready for next weekend. My teammates say the team will be much better, the other team has 2 or 3 Americans...Tini said 'yeah, we have just one American, and we got the skinny one.' Huh...
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Turning 28
Yesterday was...my (gulp) 28th birthday....I realize that this is by no means old...but I don't know, something about 30 being just 2 numbers away is intimidating...
I woke up yesterday and it was gloomy and rainy outside..."Oh well!" I thought, "I will just have to be the sunshine!" I threw back the covers and lept out of bed, whistling a tune to replace the birds who were not singing that morning on account of the drizzle....
Ah...if only that were true....In honesty now...my eyelids hesitantly opened and I thought "sigh (yes you can sigh in your thoughts)...I am 28 today..." I rolled myself out of bed and decided to go see if I had any birthday fan mail...At this point I had not actually realized the weather...I got online and immediately my spirits were lifted by an array of Happy Birthday wishes on my facebook. "Maybe today won't be so bad after all..."
I went downstairs and Claudia was home, who is never home in the morning (well, at least not by the time I get up around 9)...She smiled at me "Happy Birthday" and started into the kitchen. I followed her and saw that there, on their table, they had left me this:
(The presents at that point were wrapped and the coffee was not yet on the table.)
Claudia went and lit the candles immediately and I kept telling her how cool it all was. She stepped aside so that I could make a wish and blow the candles out...It took me a few tries to get them all, so that either means I will someday have a shoe full of children or that my wishes won't come true or that my asthma has gotten worse than I realized after being around all the smokers in Germany...I guess we will see which of these proves true... Claudia then went to the cupboard and said, 'today, you can use this!' And pulled out the Happy Birthday mug. I laughed and smiled, it was all so sweet and so unexpected. I got some coffee and some müsli (I really wanted to just dive into the cupcakes but it seemed like I should eat something breakfasty first, so the chocolate müsli fulfilled that role. Then I dove into the cupcake, delicious. Claudia is a genious in the kitchen.
I asked her if I could open the presents and she said yes and 'warned' me that they were just silly things. First package was a box of gourmet chocolate. Nothing silly about that. Second box was tea cookies, uh YUM! Third box was these little choclate cookie type things that I already polished off (they were small, okay)... I thanked her so much for it all and said that they knew where my heart is. Ha ha! I went and grabbed my camera to take the above picture (wish I had done that first before I opened everything but picture taking is never first on my mind)...
I got to sit and talk with Claudia for a little while. She is such a kind and warm person. She has a good sense of humor too. It was at this point though, that Claudia pointed out to me the weather...Gray and raining. Unlike my happy little Disney scene above I thought to myself 'of course it is overcast and raining on my birthday. Yesterday it was warm and sunny, but no, today I will have to walk through the rain on my birthday." (I am usually such a positive person...or so I thought...) Then, while we were sitting there, the doorbell rang- the mail! My mind was off the weather.
Claudia went and retrieved the mail and brought me back a package. It was from my mom and dad. In it I found a great birthday card (my mom wrote to me in German so of course I had Claudia translate for me) and my dad let me know that he had sung me 'Happy Birthday, a little out of tune'...loved it...the box was FULL of candy. Claudia and I started laughing...'well everyone knows what I like I guess!' I gathered up all my goodies, told Claudia if anyone in the house needs any sweets they know where I live, and headed upstairs to stash my loot (aka throw it on my bed)...
I decided I had better do a little workout because I don't go to practice on Tuesdays, I coach. Being pretty sore, I decided to do a pilates video (people have you ever heard of exercise TV? You can look up their website online and do all kinds of free workout videos...if you are into that sort of thing...for many of them it will tell you how much it costs to download it, but you do not have to download it, you can just play it for free)... After this I got ready to go into town so that I could skype with Grace at Starbucks...As I was coming downstairs Claudia offered me a ride to the train station, she had to go there to pick up Cosi who was coming home, sick, from school. So I did not walk in the rain, but I did feel bad for Cosi who had a fever.
I got into town quickly, ordered a breakfast sandwich (the ones here rock the world of the ones in the states bc the bread is insanely good) and coffee frap (no, I do not think I ate one thing that was good for me yesterday...oh except some grapes that I ate out of guilt at about 1130pm)... At first Skype or my computer or something, was being stupid (no, the 'or something' does not include me, I was NOT the problem)...I was so bummed, no skype?? But it is my biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirthdaaaaay! Everyone knows that birthdays are magical days in which everything goes right. The birthday fairies must have realized that and they gave Grace the great idea to use Facebook chat. It is just like skype! (Okay, and actually I do not thank the birthday fairies for this, I thank God, He really is sweet to me, I just thought the fairies thing sounded funny, irreverent?) Facebook, continues to blow my socks off...
Grace and I got to talk for about an hour. I realized that me, sitting at a table in Starbucks, talking to my computer screen, may have been weird or obnoxious to the Germans around me...probably both...but I was willing to be that person...the funnier part is, that after my conversation with Grace I started trying to make Skype work again and I realized that during my entire conversation with Grace, the sound might have been going through both my headphones and my laptop speakers....so to add to the weird and obnoxious girl talking out loud, I might have had headphones on, all the while everyone could hear BOTH sides of the conversation...Sorry Grace, but at least they couldn't really see you--except for the little girl who kept walking up behind me to wave at you...
I spent some time reading my Bible and thinking and writing a few thoughts. The Psalm for the day, 135, was largely praising God for how Great He is and how no one compares to Him...it was cool to think that such a unique, powerful, and uncomparable being had made me and has known me these 28 years better than I understand...
After these deep thoughts I decided to do something really profound...I decided to try again to get Skype working...while I was figuring out Skype, Amanda came on! I THINK I figured things out to where she and I had a normal conversation (normal meaning she and I could hear each other but the S-bucks crowd could only hear me)...It was so great to get to talk to her on my birthday as well!
By this time it was getting closer to time for me to go coach so I wrapped up our conversation. Upon getting to the gym I realized that I do not have the combination to unlock the padlock that is on the ball cart...practicing basketball can get sorta difficult with no balls...The trickier part was that my cell phone account had just run out of minutes and texts the night before (here most people by a card that is preloaded with minutes and texts rather than signing up for a monthly plan)...I had JUST bought a new card to reload my account on the way to practice, but the instructions to do it were all in German so I didn't know how to do it...Luckily, Kjell's house (Kjell is the boy whose family hosted Carrie and I this summer) is on the same street as the gym. I walked to his house to see if they could let me use their phone to call Cosi to ask for the combination....Unfortunately, no one answered... I walked back to the gym, kinda laughing and praying at the same time...I also figured it would probably be the day the most kids showed up or no one really spoke English and I would not have Cosi there to translate...
I got back into the gym and two boys were there. I asked one of them to help me set up my phone...He dialed some numbers and listened to the automated lady give instructions (apparently the automated system in Germany is just as annoying and confusing) because after a few attempts he shrugged and handed me the phone back...I asked him if he had a phone I could use...We finally got a hold of Cosi and got the combination...We set the basketballs free and there was great rejoicing... 4 boys showed up for training. That was the most I have had. We worked on pivots and ball handling and shooting. It was fun because they all seem to have a genuine desire to learn. They want to be challenged (except for when it comes to using their left hand to shoot left hand layups)...
After practice I headed back to the train station. I spent a few minutes outside of Starbucks checking my email and deciding what to do next...It is weird spending your birthday alone for the most part... I wandered back into the mall and decided that I was going to find the next Harry Potter video (I have been watching all of Cosi's German Harry Potter movies, she had 1,2,3, and 5...I will admit, I am now hooked and I really want to see the rest)...
After searching for what felt like ages, I finally found it- in the children's section next to movies like 'Barbie Goes to Germany'...it just did't seem right...Don't these people know how dark these movies are? Don't they know about the snakes who whisper 'kill, kill kill' and the death eaters who suck out your soul or the clear teenage angst? Children's section my foot...(that thought process made me feel a little less stupid walking out of the children's section with my purchase to be)... I got the movie and headed home.
When I got there Guido greeted me with a handshake and wished me Happy Birthday. I thanked him for the morning surprise. Claudia had made this awesome chicken curry and rice dinner that I love (she has made it once before) and Guido, Claudia and I ate. Cosi came and sat with us to talk. She had been sleeping most of the day. We all chatted through dinner and it was really great. They are a blessing to be around because they really enjoy each other and are constantly teasing one another and laughing...
My birthday basically finished up with me reading more wonderful birthday messages on Facebook and email, and me watching Harry Potter and eating more candy...The 6th DVD was not my favorite...it is the first time I felt like I was really left hanging at the end...Which stinks, because I am not about to go pay another 9 euro for the next one...sigh.... All in all, a good day. The highlights were definitely all the sweet words and things that people said or did...I thank God for all the people in my life, here and far away, who make me feel like I offer something to this world, like I am loved, and like I have people to love back...I am thankful for the many reminders I have had that oftentimes it is very small and simple things in life that add up to making a tremendous difference...I thank God for showing me His love through people and I pray that He will show His love to others through me, especially in new and wonderful ways in this next year. Oh, and the sun was back out today...
I woke up yesterday and it was gloomy and rainy outside..."Oh well!" I thought, "I will just have to be the sunshine!" I threw back the covers and lept out of bed, whistling a tune to replace the birds who were not singing that morning on account of the drizzle....
Ah...if only that were true....In honesty now...my eyelids hesitantly opened and I thought "sigh (yes you can sigh in your thoughts)...I am 28 today..." I rolled myself out of bed and decided to go see if I had any birthday fan mail...At this point I had not actually realized the weather...I got online and immediately my spirits were lifted by an array of Happy Birthday wishes on my facebook. "Maybe today won't be so bad after all..."
I went downstairs and Claudia was home, who is never home in the morning (well, at least not by the time I get up around 9)...She smiled at me "Happy Birthday" and started into the kitchen. I followed her and saw that there, on their table, they had left me this:
(The presents at that point were wrapped and the coffee was not yet on the table.)
Claudia went and lit the candles immediately and I kept telling her how cool it all was. She stepped aside so that I could make a wish and blow the candles out...It took me a few tries to get them all, so that either means I will someday have a shoe full of children or that my wishes won't come true or that my asthma has gotten worse than I realized after being around all the smokers in Germany...I guess we will see which of these proves true... Claudia then went to the cupboard and said, 'today, you can use this!' And pulled out the Happy Birthday mug. I laughed and smiled, it was all so sweet and so unexpected. I got some coffee and some müsli (I really wanted to just dive into the cupcakes but it seemed like I should eat something breakfasty first, so the chocolate müsli fulfilled that role. Then I dove into the cupcake, delicious. Claudia is a genious in the kitchen.
I asked her if I could open the presents and she said yes and 'warned' me that they were just silly things. First package was a box of gourmet chocolate. Nothing silly about that. Second box was tea cookies, uh YUM! Third box was these little choclate cookie type things that I already polished off (they were small, okay)... I thanked her so much for it all and said that they knew where my heart is. Ha ha! I went and grabbed my camera to take the above picture (wish I had done that first before I opened everything but picture taking is never first on my mind)...
I got to sit and talk with Claudia for a little while. She is such a kind and warm person. She has a good sense of humor too. It was at this point though, that Claudia pointed out to me the weather...Gray and raining. Unlike my happy little Disney scene above I thought to myself 'of course it is overcast and raining on my birthday. Yesterday it was warm and sunny, but no, today I will have to walk through the rain on my birthday." (I am usually such a positive person...or so I thought...) Then, while we were sitting there, the doorbell rang- the mail! My mind was off the weather.
Claudia went and retrieved the mail and brought me back a package. It was from my mom and dad. In it I found a great birthday card (my mom wrote to me in German so of course I had Claudia translate for me) and my dad let me know that he had sung me 'Happy Birthday, a little out of tune'...loved it...the box was FULL of candy. Claudia and I started laughing...'well everyone knows what I like I guess!' I gathered up all my goodies, told Claudia if anyone in the house needs any sweets they know where I live, and headed upstairs to stash my loot (aka throw it on my bed)...
I decided I had better do a little workout because I don't go to practice on Tuesdays, I coach. Being pretty sore, I decided to do a pilates video (people have you ever heard of exercise TV? You can look up their website online and do all kinds of free workout videos...if you are into that sort of thing...for many of them it will tell you how much it costs to download it, but you do not have to download it, you can just play it for free)... After this I got ready to go into town so that I could skype with Grace at Starbucks...As I was coming downstairs Claudia offered me a ride to the train station, she had to go there to pick up Cosi who was coming home, sick, from school. So I did not walk in the rain, but I did feel bad for Cosi who had a fever.
I got into town quickly, ordered a breakfast sandwich (the ones here rock the world of the ones in the states bc the bread is insanely good) and coffee frap (no, I do not think I ate one thing that was good for me yesterday...oh except some grapes that I ate out of guilt at about 1130pm)... At first Skype or my computer or something, was being stupid (no, the 'or something' does not include me, I was NOT the problem)...I was so bummed, no skype?? But it is my biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirthdaaaaay! Everyone knows that birthdays are magical days in which everything goes right. The birthday fairies must have realized that and they gave Grace the great idea to use Facebook chat. It is just like skype! (Okay, and actually I do not thank the birthday fairies for this, I thank God, He really is sweet to me, I just thought the fairies thing sounded funny, irreverent?) Facebook, continues to blow my socks off...
Grace and I got to talk for about an hour. I realized that me, sitting at a table in Starbucks, talking to my computer screen, may have been weird or obnoxious to the Germans around me...probably both...but I was willing to be that person...the funnier part is, that after my conversation with Grace I started trying to make Skype work again and I realized that during my entire conversation with Grace, the sound might have been going through both my headphones and my laptop speakers....so to add to the weird and obnoxious girl talking out loud, I might have had headphones on, all the while everyone could hear BOTH sides of the conversation...Sorry Grace, but at least they couldn't really see you--except for the little girl who kept walking up behind me to wave at you...
I spent some time reading my Bible and thinking and writing a few thoughts. The Psalm for the day, 135, was largely praising God for how Great He is and how no one compares to Him...it was cool to think that such a unique, powerful, and uncomparable being had made me and has known me these 28 years better than I understand...
After these deep thoughts I decided to do something really profound...I decided to try again to get Skype working...while I was figuring out Skype, Amanda came on! I THINK I figured things out to where she and I had a normal conversation (normal meaning she and I could hear each other but the S-bucks crowd could only hear me)...It was so great to get to talk to her on my birthday as well!
By this time it was getting closer to time for me to go coach so I wrapped up our conversation. Upon getting to the gym I realized that I do not have the combination to unlock the padlock that is on the ball cart...practicing basketball can get sorta difficult with no balls...The trickier part was that my cell phone account had just run out of minutes and texts the night before (here most people by a card that is preloaded with minutes and texts rather than signing up for a monthly plan)...I had JUST bought a new card to reload my account on the way to practice, but the instructions to do it were all in German so I didn't know how to do it...Luckily, Kjell's house (Kjell is the boy whose family hosted Carrie and I this summer) is on the same street as the gym. I walked to his house to see if they could let me use their phone to call Cosi to ask for the combination....Unfortunately, no one answered... I walked back to the gym, kinda laughing and praying at the same time...I also figured it would probably be the day the most kids showed up or no one really spoke English and I would not have Cosi there to translate...
I got back into the gym and two boys were there. I asked one of them to help me set up my phone...He dialed some numbers and listened to the automated lady give instructions (apparently the automated system in Germany is just as annoying and confusing) because after a few attempts he shrugged and handed me the phone back...I asked him if he had a phone I could use...We finally got a hold of Cosi and got the combination...We set the basketballs free and there was great rejoicing... 4 boys showed up for training. That was the most I have had. We worked on pivots and ball handling and shooting. It was fun because they all seem to have a genuine desire to learn. They want to be challenged (except for when it comes to using their left hand to shoot left hand layups)...
After practice I headed back to the train station. I spent a few minutes outside of Starbucks checking my email and deciding what to do next...It is weird spending your birthday alone for the most part... I wandered back into the mall and decided that I was going to find the next Harry Potter video (I have been watching all of Cosi's German Harry Potter movies, she had 1,2,3, and 5...I will admit, I am now hooked and I really want to see the rest)...
After searching for what felt like ages, I finally found it- in the children's section next to movies like 'Barbie Goes to Germany'...it just did't seem right...Don't these people know how dark these movies are? Don't they know about the snakes who whisper 'kill, kill kill' and the death eaters who suck out your soul or the clear teenage angst? Children's section my foot...(that thought process made me feel a little less stupid walking out of the children's section with my purchase to be)... I got the movie and headed home.
When I got there Guido greeted me with a handshake and wished me Happy Birthday. I thanked him for the morning surprise. Claudia had made this awesome chicken curry and rice dinner that I love (she has made it once before) and Guido, Claudia and I ate. Cosi came and sat with us to talk. She had been sleeping most of the day. We all chatted through dinner and it was really great. They are a blessing to be around because they really enjoy each other and are constantly teasing one another and laughing...
My birthday basically finished up with me reading more wonderful birthday messages on Facebook and email, and me watching Harry Potter and eating more candy...The 6th DVD was not my favorite...it is the first time I felt like I was really left hanging at the end...Which stinks, because I am not about to go pay another 9 euro for the next one...sigh.... All in all, a good day. The highlights were definitely all the sweet words and things that people said or did...I thank God for all the people in my life, here and far away, who make me feel like I offer something to this world, like I am loved, and like I have people to love back...I am thankful for the many reminders I have had that oftentimes it is very small and simple things in life that add up to making a tremendous difference...I thank God for showing me His love through people and I pray that He will show His love to others through me, especially in new and wonderful ways in this next year. Oh, and the sun was back out today...
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