Life on a Napkin

Well…it has been a little while since I blogged. No surprise there. I guess there are so many things to say and so little to say all at the same time. I could write more of events and little stories that have happened here, but instead here are some of my musings… Here is something I wrote the other day, on a napkin in the train:

(I had a fit of inspiration and ran into the bakery near the train stop to grab napkins for paper before running to jump on my train into town)…

(Every story is better with pictures right? So here's the napkin...deciphering it later was somewhat challenging...)

“Last night once again I was walking home in the dark. There are always parts of the path that are light and parts that are not, but a street light must’ve gone out that night bc there was a stretch of darkness that was much longer and darker than usual. “This is my life,” I thought “I literally cannot see the step in front of me, but I have to take it. I am choosing to trust God to get me home unscathed.”
In life there are times where we feel we are under the lamp light- the way seems clear, the path sure, and we go merrily and confidently on our way without much thought…But then we have those other moments where every step feels unsure, we don’t know where our foot will land or whether we will hit flat ground or a pothole.
As I contemplated how to navigate through the darkness another thought hit me- darkness this black is always good for something- I looked up and sure enough, a million stars were shining in their beautiful constellations.

Talk about a confidence boost. The creator of all of that is also planning my life. I began to converse with Him, as I often do on this walk, whispering out loud the details of my life that seem to need clarity, provision, encouragement, strength- not so much because I think the Creator doesn’t know them, but more so to just get it off my chest before Him.

It seems that God, in making us in His image, did not neglect giving us a desire to plan. I find this interesting (okay and honestly, annoying). He lets us plan ad we have a desire to plan and the freedom to plan, but ultimately He does the planning and He makes us wait on Him. Another thought is how God is a communicator, but it feels like so often He limits His communication. I know, I know. Right now You are telling me, “that is so we learn to trust Him.” I get it. I just find it interesting that in all of our relationships we pound home the importance of communication, saying things like “we can’t read minds!” This is exactly what frustrates me with people, when I feel like they won’t just tell me what they are thinking, and I have carried this over to how I respond to God. I want Him to just tell me everything on His mind, because I am having such a hard time trying to read it. “

My napkin journal ended there. But this strain of thinking has continued all week. This morning I just got on my knees again and told God I want to do whatever He wants. I asked Him to show me His hand in what currently feels like limbo to me. I literally pictured myself yesterday, as though trapped in an hour glass that has been turned on its side. I think I am definitely of that brand of person who wants to feel progression. I want to know that I have advanced since the day that I set my foot in Germany. I think it has been hard feeling like the picture of what all this is meant to be is so hazy, how can you measure if you are meeting a goal if you are unsure of what the goal is? I thought when I came that it was to play basketball in the first league. I am not sure if that is my purpose here anymore. As much as I am a verbal person, I want to quantify things. I want to have a list and check things off, to see productivity clearly…

All of this leaves me in a place where I live one day at a time. I know this is a good place to be, but I wrestle with it, a million times a day. There are moments where I submit to the hold and I relax and say I will keep riding this wave and see what happens. Then, as I do so often in the ocean, when I cannot see what is around me beneath the surface of the water, I panic for a moment. I want to know that the ground is still there, and that nothing sinister is coming at me in the water. I want to feel stable, I want to feel secure. But in the ocean, part of the thrill is that you do not know exactly what is coming.

How does this all come full circle? I keep talking it through with the Creator. I keep telling him that although I cannot read His mind I will trust Him and I will enjoy the waves instead of letting fear get a hold of me.

The other night I was talking with my coach on one of our long drives home. We were talking about fear and what scares us. I told him that one of the biggest fears that I have in my life is that I will waste it. I have to trust God even in this, that these days are not purposeless. This morning a new picture came into my head- a Rubic’s cube. I have never solved one of those things, but I am always amazed watching someone do it. It always looks like they make turns and twists that are regressing…you see all these yellow squares coming together then suddenly they “mess it all up”…they go back to each side having multiple colors again...but in the end, those turns that seem to get you nowhere or seem to be steps back, end up solving the puzzle. God is twisting and turning my life, and to me it can seem random. But if He made the stars, then surely my little Rubic’s cube is not a problem...I find solace in His good hands making the turns in my life...



For those of you hoping for a laugh:
The other day on the bus a young mom came and sat next to me with her little baby girl. She heard me on my cell phone asking my friend for clarity on directions and when I got off the phone she asked me if I still needed help finding my way.

Me: (in my head) What?! A stranger spoke to me!?

We continued talking (mostly, SHE continued talking) and of course, she is Serbian. Not German. So the rule that German strangers do not talk still applies.

Anyway…so we are chatting/playing with her baby girl who was beyond adorable and she asks me, “do you have children?”

“Nope” I reply, “no children.”
She is aghast. “How OLD are you?!” (Let’s keep in mind that most people assume I’m a lot younger than I actually am)…I reply with a slightly uncomfortable chuckle, “I am 28.” (Yes, I did have to pause to remember that)…

Serbian Momma: ”And you don’t have CHILDREN?! What? You don’t like children?!”

Me: (a little stunned at how this conversation just turned)“Uh yes, of course I like children! I just don’t have any yet!”

She was mystified.

Adventures in Nauen

So I have so many things I could write about, but I decided to just share one story today. This is a little story about my love-hate relationship with the trains here in Berlin. It is mostly a hate relationship at this point.

Since I have been here there have been numerous times when I have gone to catch a train and the train has been late by more than 15 minutes. Thankfully for me, it is not usually too big of a problem outside of making people wait for me (which of course is frustrating). But the last few days it has been worse than that. Apparently one method of vandalism here is for people to set ‘fire bombs’ that mess with certain trains' power systems. I can not explain it more than that because frankly, I don’t get it. The other night I was coming home on a train around 10:30 PM and our train stopped at a station just one station away from mine and waited there for over half an hour. I found out it was because of this sort of vandalism. It was not too big of a deal, it just didn’t make me the happiest to be walking home at midnight after we finally go to my stop.

Last night however, took the cake. I was in a part of the city called Zehlendorf (not close to Falkensee at all) around 8:30 pm when I started heading home. I was thinking it would have been better if I had left sooner, but thought, oh well, it will still be around 10 pm when I get home...not too late... I got on the Subway no problem and pretty easily found my connecting subway line. Two lines down, just one train ride to go and I was home free. I found the train I always take. The sign said it was arriving on time, I was good to go. I just had to wait maybe 15 minutes. I was cold and tired and eager to get home. I paced back and forth on the platform to try to warm myself up. I laughed at the fact that I was wearing a jacket, two scarves and a beanie AND had my hood on over my head, and this is FALL. Not winter. It was about 34 degrees F outside…to this desert rat, freezing.

The train arrived and I was happy to get on. I sat and looked at my pathetic self in the reflection of the window opposite of me. I had my headphones in with music playing from my phone. I looked down at my phone and thought, maybe I should take a picture of myself right now, to document how pathetic I am in the fall.


Isn't that pathetic?

I looked at my phone and saw that my battery was dying. I decided I had better shut off my music to save some battery juice, just in case. I thought to myself, ‘I am almost home, it is probably fine, you won’t need your phone.’ But then I thought ‘better be safe than sorry.’

Praise God.

The train did not stop in Falkensee. At one point we stopped, I think in a tunnel because I could not see anything out the window, and just waited for about 5 or 10 minutes. Not a good sign, that was what happened last time when there was vandalism. But then the train started up again. I was worried though, ‘will we stop in Falkensee? Why does it feel like we have been riding for so long?’ But the sign inside the train still read that the next stop was Falkensee, and there were no announcements coming on…
Sure enough though, when we finally stopped we were in Nauen. I don’t even know where Nauen is except that it is past my stop. All I knew next was that there was NO ONE at this train station and it was nearly 11 PM….I walked down the stairs to check the train schedule. It said there would be another train coming, but of course up on the platform the signs were either blank or said that the trains were NOT coming.

I walked back downstairs and out of the train stop. The parking lot was mostly dark and I looked at the bus schedules, already knowing that they would have stopped running by now. Yep. I text messaged my coach. Then I looked down, my battery light was definitely yellow. ‘Oh God, please let my battery stay alive! Please don’t leave me stranded out here with no phone!’ The battery sign went back to green…
At this point I don’t remember if I called my coach or he called me, but he let me know he was calling the train co. to see what I should do. I paced, trying to keep warm. I decided I had better try my host family before my battery died. At this point it was probably 1130 PM and I knew they were probably sleeping. I really did not want to call them and wake them up but I really did not know what else to do. I was in some random town late at night and my phone was back to yellow….No answer…I waited a few more minutes and Timur called me back, there would be no trains at all and a bus would not come for two more hours…He told me he would come and get me. He also told me that his phone was dying, I laughed, ‘mine too!’ He told me to switch my phone off for half an hour (his estimation of how long it might take him to get there)…
While I was waiting a bus pulled up and some guys got out, they all went to their bikes or cars and left…At that point I spotted a teenage boy I had seen on my train. I walked over to him, and the conversation followed:
Me: Where are you trying to go?
Teenage Boy: There are no more trains.

Me: Yes I know that, but where are you trying to go?
T.B.: There are no more trains, no trains come.

Me: Yes yes, no trains. (now more slowly) Where…are…you…trying …to…go?

T.B.: Falkensee.
Me: REALLY? How are you getting there?

T.B.: (looking at me like I am the strangest person he has ever met)My father is coming.

Me: (without hesitating)Can I have a ride? (what has overcome me that I would just ask some random dude for a ride? Living in a foreign country changes you)

T.B.: (now looking at me like I have grown an extra head or two) That bus there will go to Falkensee (pointing to a bus parked at the back of the lot with no one in it, lights off)…

Me: (pretending that I am not offended) Oh, okay, thank you!

At this point I wasn’t trusting anyone about the bus except the bus driver. The first bus that had dropped some guys off was still there and there were two drives inside. I assumed one of them must have been for the bus at the back of the lot. I went and paced back and forth in front of the bus, trying to figure out if I should wait for the door to open or go pound on the window. I stuck with the pacing (dumb). Finally the dude opened the door. I walked up, ‘Excuse me, is that bus over there going to Falkensee?’ The dude told me yes, in another ten minutes or so.

I tried to call Timur to let him know he did not have to come after all. I got his voicemail. Shoot…did he turn off his phone to save his battery also?
Decision time…do I hop on the bus and hope that I can reach Timur, risking that he will drive all the way out to Nauen and I am not there? Do I stand here and let the bus take off and hope Timur is not annoyed that a bus came and he still drove all the way to get me? I waited a few minutes and called again. Voicemail. Shooooooooooooot! I heard the bus start up and saw the lights come on…I just stood there…The boy had left by now in his comfy ride with his dad…(wish I could say I hadn't felt ill will towards him as they pulled away)...I was the only person there. Again.
The driver waited a few minutes then he came out and found me, ‘Are you coming to Falkensee?’ I tried explaining to him my situation, I am not sure how much he got. ‘No bus?’ He said back to me….
’No,' I sighed, 'no bus. Thank you though, very much!’ He shrugged and walked away…

My phone literally rang about a minute and a half later. Timur. I answered laughing. ‘Timur, a bus was JUST here going to Falkensee!’
Timur: Oh are you on it??
Me: Nooooooooooo! I couldn’t get a hold of you, I was afraid you were going to drive all the way out here and I would be gone!
Timur: So you are not on the bus?
Me: (doing the half laugh, half cry) nooooooo

Timur: Are you laughing or crying?
Me: I don’t know. Laughing.
Timur: Ok, I am on my way and when I get there, you better be smiling. Be strong. I will be there in 20 more minutes.

Back to pacing. He was right. Why was I being such a pansy? So I was cold and alone in a town in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country. I had someone coming to get me. I had a jacket on. I had a choice to make to laugh or cry. I would laugh.

I walked up and down the train tunnel about 5000 times. Then I decided to walk the stairs. I prayed for every person I have met in Germany. I sang a few songs. I mastered the stairs.

10 minutes later my phone rang. Timur, 'are you still at the train station?'
Me: laughing and thinking `where could I possibly have gone?' Uh, yeah
Timur: I will be there in five minutes.

It might have been five minutes, I don't know. I kept doing stairs till my phone rang. Timur. I picked up but he was gone. I walked out of the tunnel. I heard my name, Timur was walking up to me. I thought ‘huh, he didn’t have to get out of the car.’ Then we started walking across the parking lot as he explained to me that the route his navigational system gave him took him through construction and the road was blocked so he had just parked the car and walked the last 400 M. I started cracking up. So did he, of course that happened!

I apologized that he had to come get me. He told me it was great because in his 23 years he has never been to Nauen and now he got to see it.

We walked to the car. At this point it was after 1 am. I told Timur about my phone battery, how I thanked God that I had seen that my battery was dying while on the train listening to my music.

I thanked Timur about a hundred times for driving all the way out to get me. When I got home, I thanked God again for keeping my battery alive. Every time it moved to yellow or even to red, I had prayed again and every time God gave it some new life. I thanked Him also for giving me people who I can call when I need help and I thanked him that I did not have to sleep in the freezing train station in Nauen last night.

First Regular Season Game

Well Saturday was our first regular season game...you probably picked that up from my über creative title, huh? Well I woke up Saturday morning the way I usually do (this has not changed from when I lived in the States)...me thinking, 'what day is it? Why am I awake? What should I be doing?' Think think think...I happily remembered, 'It's GAME DAY!'...

We were supposed to have a home game, but due to some sort of scheduling conflict we played at a gym in Berlin somewhere far far away...(someday I will know the geography of this place)...

We got to the gym about an hour and a half before our game. There was a small crowd of 6-11 (guesstimate) year old girls outside the gym- we had cheerleaders! Ha ha! Some cheerleading club asked us if they could cheer at our games as practice...

We went in and found our locker room and started getting ready...I was all dressed but I had to go to the bathroom. The bathroom in our locker room, of course, did not have toilet paper...Decided to just wait and go later.

We went out and started warming up. I had on my new Lebron Soldier's which I had just bought the day before at Nike Town. I had gone there three different times to try on shoes, to make sure I really liked the ones I got because I have had issues with the last three pairs of basketball shoes I have bought. I also brought my Kobe's with me just in case having new shoes on bothered my feet...The Lebrons felt good for about thirty minutes. Then, when going through the layup line I felt a sharp pain in my left arch, where the flywire on my shoe seemed to be giving way. I started praying that my shoes would be okay...

About 20 min before game time our team went back into the locker room to meet. Coach gave us some instructions and a motivational pre game talk. I still had to go to the bathroom. On the way back out to the court (which involved going down a hall way and a flight of stairs) I tried going into two other locker rooms to see if their bathrooms had toilet paper- strike two and strike three...I ran out to the court to ask the people working the table where I could find a bathroom with toilet paper. The guy I asked said, 'huh, good question' and referred me to someone else. This man told me my best bet was the restroom upstairs in the lobby.

At this point there were 6 minutes left on the clock for warm up time. I ran back out of the gym, up the stairs, down the hallway, and to the bathroom in the lobby...No toilet paper. No paper towels either. 'What is the matter with these people?'

I ran to the snack bar and asked for a couple napkins, ran back to the bathroom and quickly took care of business and back down to the court...I got there with 27 seconds of warm up time remaining. I ran to get back in the layup line and my arch was still bothering me. I went to the bench to try tying my shoes tighter, to see if that helped my arch get more support. Of course with the straps on my shoe that have to be undone to mess with the shoe laces this took me some time. Everyone was on the court waiting for me. I tried to hurry, with my teammates making fun of me that I need help tying my shoes...I ran out onto the court, said hi to everyone (here you usually go and high five each of the opponents and say hello and shake the ref's hand before you start), tucked in my shirt at the ref's command, and got ready to play.

We started out the first few minutes in a blaze. We couldn't miss. If we did miss, we crashed the offensive boards and got the put back or the foul. Everything was going great- except for my arch...I decided I had better take care of it before I ended up with an injury. While one of my teammates was shooting a freethrow, I told my coach I needed a quick sub. We had been playing for maybe 3 or 4 minutes at this point. I went out and changed back into my Kobe's, then got subbed right back in.

The game went much like some of the other games we have played. We rocketed out to a lead, something like 19-4, then started cooling off a little bit. We then would go through streaks of scoring and streaks of turnovers or defensive breakdowns. With all that though, I think we went into halftime up by about 20+ points.

In this game I shot okay. I missed two shots I should have made- one a put back after getting an offensive rebound at the free throw line, and the other a shot I tried to tip in on my teammate's fast break layup.

I hit a couple of threes, one off the dribble and one on a skip pass. I think my most important basket came in the third quarter when we hit a slump and hadn't scored in a few minutes. We were struggling against their zone, I got the ball on the right wing and dribbled across the key, through the defense and made a step through to finish with my left hand and pick up a foul. I finished the FT for the 3 pt play to help our team get a little momentum.

My dumbest play of the game was when I got a steal and went out on the fast break, my 6'4" post player running the floor with me. We had a 2 on 1 and I wish I had passed Louisa the ball, but I thought I might have a better chance of finishing the play myself. The defender jumped in front of me and I trucked her. She was certainly moving, but it didn't matter. Ref called me for charging and we missed the opportunity. I should have passed...

The game was really fun overall. We had a good sized crowd out from our club and they were into the game. It was fun to hear them get excited for us in good plays in the game!

Everyone was excited when the game finished and we had won our first regular season game by (I think) 23 points. Dani, our other starting wing, finished as the high scorer with 23 points herself. In the first quarter she was on a rampage! (My final stat line was 13 pts, I think 8 rebounds and 5 steals)...

Now we are getting ready for next weekend. My teammates say the team will be much better, the other team has 2 or 3 Americans...Tini said 'yeah, we have just one American, and we got the skinny one.' Huh...

Turning 28

Yesterday was...my (gulp) 28th birthday....I realize that this is by no means old...but I don't know, something about 30 being just 2 numbers away is intimidating...

I woke up yesterday and it was gloomy and rainy outside..."Oh well!" I thought, "I will just have to be the sunshine!" I threw back the covers and lept out of bed, whistling a tune to replace the birds who were not singing that morning on account of the drizzle....

Ah...if only that were true....In honesty now...my eyelids hesitantly opened and I thought "sigh (yes you can sigh in your thoughts)...I am 28 today..." I rolled myself out of bed and decided to go see if I had any birthday fan mail...At this point I had not actually realized the weather...I got online and immediately my spirits were lifted by an array of Happy Birthday wishes on my facebook. "Maybe today won't be so bad after all..."

I went downstairs and Claudia was home, who is never home in the morning (well, at least not by the time I get up around 9)...She smiled at me "Happy Birthday" and started into the kitchen. I followed her and saw that there, on their table, they had left me this:


(The presents at that point were wrapped and the coffee was not yet on the table.)
Claudia went and lit the candles immediately and I kept telling her how cool it all was. She stepped aside so that I could make a wish and blow the candles out...It took me a few tries to get them all, so that either means I will someday have a shoe full of children or that my wishes won't come true or that my asthma has gotten worse than I realized after being around all the smokers in Germany...I guess we will see which of these proves true... Claudia then went to the cupboard and said, 'today, you can use this!' And pulled out the Happy Birthday mug. I laughed and smiled, it was all so sweet and so unexpected. I got some coffee and some müsli (I really wanted to just dive into the cupcakes but it seemed like I should eat something breakfasty first, so the chocolate müsli fulfilled that role. Then I dove into the cupcake, delicious. Claudia is a genious in the kitchen.

I asked her if I could open the presents and she said yes and 'warned' me that they were just silly things. First package was a box of gourmet chocolate. Nothing silly about that. Second box was tea cookies, uh YUM! Third box was these little choclate cookie type things that I already polished off (they were small, okay)... I thanked her so much for it all and said that they knew where my heart is. Ha ha! I went and grabbed my camera to take the above picture (wish I had done that first before I opened everything but picture taking is never first on my mind)...

I got to sit and talk with Claudia for a little while. She is such a kind and warm person. She has a good sense of humor too. It was at this point though, that Claudia pointed out to me the weather...Gray and raining. Unlike my happy little Disney scene above I thought to myself 'of course it is overcast and raining on my birthday. Yesterday it was warm and sunny, but no, today I will have to walk through the rain on my birthday." (I am usually such a positive person...or so I thought...) Then, while we were sitting there, the doorbell rang- the mail! My mind was off the weather.

Claudia went and retrieved the mail and brought me back a package. It was from my mom and dad. In it I found a great birthday card (my mom wrote to me in German so of course I had Claudia translate for me) and my dad let me know that he had sung me 'Happy Birthday, a little out of tune'...loved it...the box was FULL of candy. Claudia and I started laughing...'well everyone knows what I like I guess!' I gathered up all my goodies, told Claudia if anyone in the house needs any sweets they know where I live, and headed upstairs to stash my loot (aka throw it on my bed)...

I decided I had better do a little workout because I don't go to practice on Tuesdays, I coach. Being pretty sore, I decided to do a pilates video (people have you ever heard of exercise TV? You can look up their website online and do all kinds of free workout videos...if you are into that sort of thing...for many of them it will tell you how much it costs to download it, but you do not have to download it, you can just play it for free)... After this I got ready to go into town so that I could skype with Grace at Starbucks...As I was coming downstairs Claudia offered me a ride to the train station, she had to go there to pick up Cosi who was coming home, sick, from school. So I did not walk in the rain, but I did feel bad for Cosi who had a fever.

I got into town quickly, ordered a breakfast sandwich (the ones here rock the world of the ones in the states bc the bread is insanely good) and coffee frap (no, I do not think I ate one thing that was good for me yesterday...oh except some grapes that I ate out of guilt at about 1130pm)... At first Skype or my computer or something, was being stupid (no, the 'or something' does not include me, I was NOT the problem)...I was so bummed, no skype?? But it is my biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirthdaaaaay! Everyone knows that birthdays are magical days in which everything goes right. The birthday fairies must have realized that and they gave Grace the great idea to use Facebook chat. It is just like skype! (Okay, and actually I do not thank the birthday fairies for this, I thank God, He really is sweet to me, I just thought the fairies thing sounded funny, irreverent?) Facebook, continues to blow my socks off...

Grace and I got to talk for about an hour. I realized that me, sitting at a table in Starbucks, talking to my computer screen, may have been weird or obnoxious to the Germans around me...probably both...but I was willing to be that person...the funnier part is, that after my conversation with Grace I started trying to make Skype work again and I realized that during my entire conversation with Grace, the sound might have been going through both my headphones and my laptop speakers....so to add to the weird and obnoxious girl talking out loud, I might have had headphones on, all the while everyone could hear BOTH sides of the conversation...Sorry Grace, but at least they couldn't really see you--except for the little girl who kept walking up behind me to wave at you...

I spent some time reading my Bible and thinking and writing a few thoughts. The Psalm for the day, 135, was largely praising God for how Great He is and how no one compares to Him...it was cool to think that such a unique, powerful, and uncomparable being had made me and has known me these 28 years better than I understand...

After these deep thoughts I decided to do something really profound...I decided to try again to get Skype working...while I was figuring out Skype, Amanda came on! I THINK I figured things out to where she and I had a normal conversation (normal meaning she and I could hear each other but the S-bucks crowd could only hear me)...It was so great to get to talk to her on my birthday as well!

By this time it was getting closer to time for me to go coach so I wrapped up our conversation. Upon getting to the gym I realized that I do not have the combination to unlock the padlock that is on the ball cart...practicing basketball can get sorta difficult with no balls...The trickier part was that my cell phone account had just run out of minutes and texts the night before (here most people by a card that is preloaded with minutes and texts rather than signing up for a monthly plan)...I had JUST bought a new card to reload my account on the way to practice, but the instructions to do it were all in German so I didn't know how to do it...Luckily, Kjell's house (Kjell is the boy whose family hosted Carrie and I this summer) is on the same street as the gym. I walked to his house to see if they could let me use their phone to call Cosi to ask for the combination....Unfortunately, no one answered... I walked back to the gym, kinda laughing and praying at the same time...I also figured it would probably be the day the most kids showed up or no one really spoke English and I would not have Cosi there to translate...

I got back into the gym and two boys were there. I asked one of them to help me set up my phone...He dialed some numbers and listened to the automated lady give instructions (apparently the automated system in Germany is just as annoying and confusing) because after a few attempts he shrugged and handed me the phone back...I asked him if he had a phone I could use...We finally got a hold of Cosi and got the combination...We set the basketballs free and there was great rejoicing... 4 boys showed up for training. That was the most I have had. We worked on pivots and ball handling and shooting. It was fun because they all seem to have a genuine desire to learn. They want to be challenged (except for when it comes to using their left hand to shoot left hand layups)...

After practice I headed back to the train station. I spent a few minutes outside of Starbucks checking my email and deciding what to do next...It is weird spending your birthday alone for the most part... I wandered back into the mall and decided that I was going to find the next Harry Potter video (I have been watching all of Cosi's German Harry Potter movies, she had 1,2,3, and 5...I will admit, I am now hooked and I really want to see the rest)...

After searching for what felt like ages, I finally found it- in the children's section next to movies like 'Barbie Goes to Germany'...it just did't seem right...Don't these people know how dark these movies are? Don't they know about the snakes who whisper 'kill, kill kill' and the death eaters who suck out your soul or the clear teenage angst? Children's section my foot...(that thought process made me feel a little less stupid walking out of the children's section with my purchase to be)... I got the movie and headed home.

When I got there Guido greeted me with a handshake and wished me Happy Birthday. I thanked him for the morning surprise. Claudia had made this awesome chicken curry and rice dinner that I love (she has made it once before) and Guido, Claudia and I ate. Cosi came and sat with us to talk. She had been sleeping most of the day. We all chatted through dinner and it was really great. They are a blessing to be around because they really enjoy each other and are constantly teasing one another and laughing...

My birthday basically finished up with me reading more wonderful birthday messages on Facebook and email, and me watching Harry Potter and eating more candy...The 6th DVD was not my favorite...it is the first time I felt like I was really left hanging at the end...Which stinks, because I am not about to go pay another 9 euro for the next one...sigh.... All in all, a good day. The highlights were definitely all the sweet words and things that people said or did...I thank God for all the people in my life, here and far away, who make me feel like I offer something to this world, like I am loved, and like I have people to love back...I am thankful for the many reminders I have had that oftentimes it is very small and simple things in life that add up to making a tremendous difference...I thank God for showing me His love through people and I pray that He will show His love to others through me, especially in new and wonderful ways in this next year. Oh, and the sun was back out today...

Prayers Answered

This morning I went out into the garden to read my Bible. It is beautiful out there. I know the second picture is just a bad picture, but I thought it was kind of cool. It is a beautiful sunny day and I felt that God was showing me some wonderful things, like He was streaming His light straight to me- which I feel like that 'bad' picture portrays...

I wanted to write out a list of prayers that God has answered. I will be honest, at first the only one in my mind was of Him giving me Liz for a friend, but I knew He had answered abundantly in other ways. I prayed right then, 'God please help me to remember all You have done.' I started writing and the next thing I realized He had answered even that prayer, one thing after another was pouring out of my pen. I wanted to share some of these things because He deserves to be bragged about:

1. When I was coming to Germany and I had to stay the night in the D.R. I had spent the first day pretty much alone. I prayed that night that God would give me someone to go through Saturday with, and what do you know, this random dude named Veejay started talking to me on the bus ride to the airport and I ended up with a friend who, a)gave me money to pay the airport worker who got my bags, b)helped me pull one of my bags through the 2 hour wait to check in c)helped make sure I got on the right flight d)talked to me through all the waiting and much of the flight so I didn't feel lonely and the time went by faster e)helped me get my bags again in Berlin.

2. I prayed that the man on the plane who had the heart attack would be okay. We were told when we got on the plane to leave the D.R. and go to Germany that the man had made it safely to the hospital and would survive and was doing well.

3. I prayed before coming that my team here would like me and that my coach would like me. That has happened for sure, they are fantastic. Even on Thursday another teammate asked if I would want to go jeans shopping together (I had asked her another day about finding long pants)...

4. I asked that God would allow me to play well, and I keep praying for this. So far He has allowed me to play well and stay healthy.

5. When we were in Leipzig and I slept on the hard floor I asked God to help me to sleep and sure enough, He helped me to sleep almost till 9 am!

6. Before going to Poland our coach told us that we probably would not be able to go to the tournament on Friday because we did not have a car to take. I prayed that God would provide a car. I told my coach this over Facebook. He put on his status that he needed a car and within 30 minutes, a friend told him we could use her car for the weekend.

7. Sorry this one is a little gross- but I had a lump in my mouth (I had this once before while still in the US and had it removed) and I prayed that God would take it away. He did. It is completely gone and has not returned.

8. I prayed that God would provide a church service to attend in English. Tonight I am going with Liz to one (she told me about it).

9. I prayed for a Christian friend my age--AIA put me in touch with Liz.

10.I have prayed that God would help me to know what to say in every circumstance, even when asked tough/uncomfortable questions, and I believe that He has done this so far.

11. I have prayed for safety walking home alone late at night in the dark, especially on the dirt rode that is filled with holes. So far He has brought me home with no problems at all. He also has helped me in my prayers to help me find my way using the trains.

After I wrote all of those things in my journal (knowing that I am still probably missing many) I read the Psalm for the day (I am reading one a day, but I started at the end and am going backwards). It 'just happened to be' Psalm 138 which says in verse 3:

"When I pray, you answer me, You encourage me by giving me the strength I need."

I almost started laughing when I read that, I certainly smiled. God is so sweet to me. I read over again in verses 1 and 2 where it says:

"I give you thanks, O LORD, with all my heart; I will sing your praises before the gods. I bow before your holy Temple as I worship. I will give thanks to your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness, because your promises are backed by all the honor of your name."

I thought of how much I have doubted God and even been angry with Him at times in the last couple of years. Yet still He is faithful. It is not as though He is faithful to one who has been faithful to Him. That is humbling in a wonderful way.

I thought of how I ask my German family for so many little things- do they have books in English I can read? DVDs in German I can watch? Nail clippers I can borrow? Can they help me print out papers I need to fill out for my team?

Why would I not ask my Heavenly Father for every little thing? Again I thought of my friend Beth, who I think is the person who really taught me to ask God for every little thing. I am so grateful to her for that. What a wonderful friend.

I then started thinking of things to keep asking God for. One of the main ones is financial provision, particularly through getting picked up by a higher team.

Shortly after this I read the rest of Psalm 138...and of course an answer is there:

vs 8 "The LORD will work out His plans for my life- for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever."

I am excited to see what other things will be added to that list of answered prayers. I am thankful to know that I can count on that list growing.

And lastly, in a completely unrelated topic...Yesterday I went into a sports store in the mall and saw:



Yeah, that is the sister of Jen Ayers-Stamper, now Jen Dickson (former Teammate and friend of mine,not former friend, just former teammate ha ha)...Again, it is just cool to see her when I am in Berlin...And she is just straight up cool anyway.

Meeting Liz

Yesterday was a great day. The number one reason it was a great day was because I got to meet Liz Wörley. Liz is living in Berlin working for Athletes in Action and playing for a soccer (football) team. I contacted AIA about a week ago when I saw on their website that they are in Berlin. I basically just wanted to reach out and see if AIA had anything I could get involved with, people I could befriend, connections with good churches or if they do a Bible study, anything! The guy that responded told me that I should meet up with Liz so she emailed me and we arranged it.

I had no idea what sort of person Liz would be. I did not know if she was American or German (turns out she is both, she was born and raised in the US but her dad is German so she actually has dual citizenship). I did not know if she would be older or younger than me, what her personality would be like or what our time together would be like. Liz text me on Thursday morning to figure out where to meet. We decided on a train station in a large shopping area in Berlin. She told me to look for her- 6'1" with brown hair, wearing jeans and a khaki jacket...I laughed...okay, so I should look for myself? I wrote her back, 'I am 6', brown hair, jeans and a white jacket.'

I got off my train that afternoon at our meeting time and started looking around. At last I saw her walking up to me. It was so funny. She looked like she had gotten dressed in my closet. We both had on dark wash skinny jeans, our hair in ponytails with a headband, she had on chuck Taylor's and her jacket looks just like one that is hanging in my closet- and she was wearing it over a hoodie. You people who have been around me much know my affinity for hoodies...She looked to be around the same age as me. I was so relieved to see that at first glance, this is a person I think I can like.

Liz came up to me, us both laughing, and shook my hand and introduced herself. With that, she was off. She started walking and talking as though we had about 45 minutes to learn everything about each other and to eat. I matched her stride and began answering all of her questions. For a moment the barrage of questions stopped (like, how long have you been here, who do you play for, where are you living, do you like Berlin, does your coach speak English?) they stopped just long enough for her to say, 'IhavesomanyquestionsforyouwheredoyouwanttogoareyouhungryIdon'tknowwhereweareIdon'tknowthisarea' ha ha ha. 'Liz is a whirlwind,' I thought. The rest of the afternoon would only confirm that. My next thought was, we have been walking along at break neak speed, I had assumed because Liz knew exactly where she was going and wanted to get there right away. No, that is just how Liz walks. Every step is determined, even when wandering. I laughed when she told me that she had no idea where we were. I let her know that I had no idea either. 'Let's go this way' she responded, and took off in a new direction. That happened a few more times. Each time I just said 'Ok!' and followed my new friend along. Liz continued to ask questions or answer my questions,
Liz:'amItalkingtoofastLetmeknowifIamtalkingtoofast,peopletellmeallthetimethatItalktoofast.'
Me: ha ha, no you are fine! (In my head, but how do the Germans understand a word? Why is it that I suddenly feel that I have southern drawl? I remember in high school I dated a guy from Georgia, I thought that he talked SO slowly. I felt that Liz must feel that way about me) ha ha!

We walked on and talked about her experience so far in Berlin. She has been here since March. I quickly learned that my experience has been a cake walk in comparison to hers. Hardly anyone around her speaks English. Her coach does not speak English and so he does not even try to communicate with her. Her teammates are more distant...I felt a little guilty when she asked me how it was with my team...'Uh...everyone on my team speaks English, a few of the girls speak it really well...my coach speaks good English. He is really kind. The first day he told me not to worry about not knowing the plays and to just go do my thing.' We talked about the adjustments to the new culture and to the weather.
Liz: 'yeah, this getting all dressed up everyday? It sucks! I miss my sweatpants!'
I laughed and agreed. If you wear sweatpants out of the house people look at you like you are in your pajamas. Last night I was coming home from basketball practice and I had on basketball shorts and I caught a few stares.

Anyway, we wandered down a sidestreet and happened upon this little pasta and panini place. It was deeelicious.We made a mental note of where we were so that we could return. We talked more about our backgrounds. Liz is 23 and played soccer at Drake University. She has been involved with AIA for years. She is here with them on support. We talked about our families and faith.

We strolled through H&M and pointed out a few things we liked and then how we had no room for anything in our suitcases and walked back out. We went to Nike town and lamented how much more expensive everything is in Berlin (as if Nike wasn't already expensive enough). Oh, and one great thing about NikeTown, when I walked up I was greeted with this:

Ha ha, I dont actually know Allyson. But I am friends with her brother, and it just felt good to be in a foreign city and feel like you are seeing something that you know. She was on the wall inside a couple of times also and on the flat screen tv inside they were playing videos of athletes talking about their workouts, so I listened to Allyson explain to me why she does core workouts. I was ready to do one right then.

Liz and I walked and talked some more (found out she loves to read, also like me, and she loves coffee shops!) and soon it was time to go. She had her practice in an hour and I needed to go home and get ready for mine as well. We hugged and said we need to get together at least once a week. We are also planning on tryin an English speaking church in Berlin on Saturday night (perfect because most sports teams play on Sundays)...I was so excited to have a friend and a place to go to church.

(I know I know, how can I have anymore to say? But I think the following is funny so I am including it)

Yesterday evening I decided to try to get to practice early so I would have more time to warm up before we got started. FAIL. I made the mistake of bringing a book with me. I was reading in the train station and realized I had better go catch my bus. I walked up RIGHT as my bus was pulling away. 'Oh well,' I thought, 'I will just stand here and read and wait the ten minutes for the next one.' Ten minutes went by really fast. I looked up and realized my bus was there and everyone had already gotten on it. I dashed on board. I thought I got a couple of strange looks. I realized I had jumped on the bus in the middle, instead of going to the front door where you show the driver your ticket. Where I got on was the door where people get off. I hoped no one thought I was a delinquent...Surely everyone at some time has accidentally jumped on in the middle?

I did not have time to warm up at practice. My knees were HURTING and I was playing like poo. My coach was correcting me at every turn. No, use your other foot. Use your left hand on the left side. You are travelling (I have GOT to get used to the European step, it is different so Americans ALWAYS get called for travelling). When we shot around Tini told me, 'yeah, that wasn't so good.'

Later coach was teaching us a new inbounds play. 'So in the corner we want our best shooter on the floor, so probably Dani or Jessi.' Tini interjected, 'I would have to say Dani tonight.' I started cracking up. God Bless German straightforwardness (is that a word?). Everyone else laughed too. Coach looked at me and I shrugged, 'shooting didn't go so well today.'

After practice I had to fill out some forms. Timur was trying to help me read them (because they were in German, not because I can't read people)...On one of the forms he was struggling to tell me what to do...'this one is hard' he said...I thought to myself 'I can't feel too bad if even the Germans can't read German.' It took us forever to get the forms filled out because I kept writing things in the wrong places- either bc he told me wrong or bc I misunderstood. When I finally got it all filled out correctly we both raised our arms in victory.

Bc I was leaving practice so late I didn't take the time to change. MISTAKE. HUGE MISTAKE. By the time I got off the train in Falkensee it was nearly 11:00 PM and it was COLD. I decided that A) I was an idiot for not changing and B)I was going to have to run home, both to keep myself warm and to make it go faster...

The run was more of a pathetic jog, especially because I had my duffel bag on my back, also because there are so many parts of the path home that are pitch black and i would get nervous for my ankles. On those parts I would stop and walk carefully (the streets and sidewalks are very uneven) and then when I got into some light again I would jog again. Once again I found myself chuckling. The few cars that passed probably thought 'who is this nutcase running down the sidewalk late at night with a bag on her back?'

But I made it home safe and sound (answer to prayers) and I was happy to have had another great day on this German Adventure.

The Long Awaited (or just Long) Update from the Trip to Poland (Yes even my titles are long because I don't take time to think up something clever)

Well it has been a few days since I last blogged, and there are so many things that I could write about that I do not know where to start. How about the tournament in Poland?

Friday morning I left Cosi’s house with my duffel bag and back pack and began my walk to the train station. It never seems to matter how light I think I am packing, once I start having to walk with my bag it feels like all I packed was bricks…I met up with the team at a stop a few stations down the line and found out that there would only be five of us going to Poland that day. We had two games. In my mind I was wondering how that was all going to work out. I got the added pleasure of realizing that none of our post players were going to make it- so I think we all know who played the 5 on Friday…Our assistant Frank drove his car, which looks like a station wagon, with three of the girls, and Timur took our point guard Claudi and I in his friend’s car which is like a VW Golf hatchback- small, but big enough for just three of us. We made the drive to Poland which was a beautiful drive. Much of the ride is through countryside and tree lined streets. Everything is green and lush and picturesque.

We got to the gym in Poland with little difficulty.

(Ha ha, that is the back of my coach, Timur. I should have asked him to move, but I felt like a stupid tourist taking pictures so I was just trying to be fast)...

The wall of sponsos for the Polish team...and I am guessing one of their star players...

We played our first game with Timur’s instructions to only fast break when we had a clear advantage and to otherwise take our time because we only had five people. We played zone also to help conserve some energy, a match up 1-3-1 with me playing the bottom. Normally most people would rather play a wing because when you are on the bottom you are responsible for the whole baseline and it is a lot of running. I was happy to be the bottom in this scenario, however, because the bottom person is the only person who can see the whole court and must do most of the talking. I like having that role because it is not hard for me to talk on the floor, and I think it worked well for us seeing as how most of our communication on the floor has to be in English because of me, I speak English the best (praise the Lord, I would be worried if that were not the case)…Anyway, the 1-3-1 seemed to give the other team some problems. Offensively we struggled to get going. We were turning the ball over like crazy. It seemed that every play on offense we either scored or turned the ball over. There was not much middle ground. Thanks to our high shooting percentage and the points off fast breaks, we were able to build a solid lead and take the game. We were all pretty excited to have won our game with only 5 players. The other team had an entire squad- in fact, every other team there had a big squad. Coach was proud of us and we were proud of ourselves. It was a fun game.

After the game we girls were doing our post game cool down and the assistant coach, Frank, came over and told us goodbye. As he walked away I asked one of the girls where he was going, I was pretty confused, where could he need to go? We were in another country. She said he was going back to Berlin to coach another team. He had driven out to Poland basically just to help get us out there. ..So after our showers we loaded up Timur’s car with our bags and he drove to the hostel and us five girls walked there. It wasn’t too far. I had a great conversation with one of my teammates, our other point guard, named Tini (Short for Christina I believe). It turns out Tini had been an exchange student to Georgia during high school and had some great experiences while there including winning the state championship in basketball and track. She went to a private Christian school and lived with a Christian family. She told me that her family had asked her if she was “saved” and she had no idea what they meant. She told them she was Catholic. Tini said that she went to church with her family every Sunday for five hours and she went to chapel in her Christian school. When she left Georgia, she had indeed become “Saved.” It was great to talk to Tini and to get to know her a little bit. We laughed about some Christian stereotypes, talked about foods we love to eat and foods we miss from America, and the food that we are happy to have in Europe (like German rolls, YUMMMMM)…
At our hostel we took our stuff to our rooms. Tini and I were roommates. Our room was pretty fantabulous.



With a great view.


Our room was connected to the other two rooms of our teammates by a common bathroom. We went downstairs where a meal was provided for us. I don’t remember what we had that first day, but I do know that every meal we had in Poland was good. I also know that every meal in Poland included dill. We laughed because there was dill in the soup, in the rice, in the mashed potatoes, and in the chicken. Tini had already given me the rundown on Poland:
1. The beer is cheap
2. The cigarettes are cheap
3. The chocolate is cheap (and really good)
4. People like to steal cars.
We now added to the list:
5. They put dill in everything.
And soon we added:
6. Their refs will not call anything for you if you are not Polish.

We went back to the gym around 7 for our 8 o’clock game. We put three girls in the back with Claudilaying across their laps, and me in the front seat with it pushed nearly all the way up. Timur drove us and I am sure we looked very intimidating pulling up- like clowns in a little circus car…But it is okay, we didn’t need intimidation. With our 1-3-1 and potent offense we won another game, despite the fouls called on us and not called for us. It seemed like the refs would start out calling a lot of fouls on us and then realize that we only had five players and it would ruin the game if anyone would foul out, so they would back off as the game went on. I think it was in this game that I had 30 points, which surprised me to find out because it didn’t feel like it. I mean, I knew I had scored well, but it just didn’t seem like that many.

After our second win we returned to our hostel and ate. We then hung out for a while in Claudi, Filly, and Dani’s room. (Apparently to be a part of the fantastic five, your name has to end with an “ee” sound, of course I am Jessie and my roommate is Tini.) The girls sipped on beers (they had me try a sip, I thought it tasted like bad apple juice) and I had my water and chocolate. Filli saw me downing the chocolate bar and she exclaimed, “You eat chocolate like bread too!” I laughed and agreed, glad to know I wasn’t alone in my chocoholism. (I had purchased some of the cheap and tasty Polish chocolate, it was very good)…We talked about all sorts of things including the war in Afghanistan, Obama, Christianity, and more. We laughed a lot as well and joked around- especially after the girls told me that our assistant coach Frank had told the girls in his car a story about “someone he knows” who had a babysitter look after their baby. The baby would not stop crying when put to bed so the babysitter called the people and said “your baby won’t stop crying, I think it is because of the clown in the room.” Of course the people answered, “We have no clown.” The girls were freaked out by this story, I started laughing and told them I have heard that same story in America, and it is like an urban legend and Frank is a liar. They thought this was hysterical, especially the part where I called Frank a liar. We all laughed and I told them that I bet Frank was preeeetty proud of himself as he drove home, thinking that he had gotten them all to believe the clown story. The rest of the weekend people would randomly call out, “Frank is a liar!” or “YOU are the clown!”

Saturday morning we got to sleep in, which was very welcome. When I woke up the first thought in my head was, “we have subs today!!!” I told this to Tini who thought it was hilarious. When we got to the gym and the other girls arrived we five were all cheering. In the third me we struggled a little bit to get a rhythm again. I was moved back out to the guard spot, and for a spell, back to the wing of our zone, but that was soon changed to me on the bottom again. We were playing a very young team so our struggle to get things going didn’t hurt us too badly and we were able to build a big lead. I think we ended up winning by nearly 30 points. The very bad news about this game was one of our players who had just come, Weibke (sounds like Vipka to me), got undercut on a turnaround jumper and landed on her defender’s foot and rolled her ankle. She will probably be out of basketball for a month.

The second game the five of us who had by now played three games in a day and a half were getting run down (we had all five played almost the entire game of each game bc the first two we had no subs and in the third one player fouled out early in the game and Weibke rolled her ankle). This was not a good combination with playing the home team. Nothing was going well for us. We started slowly, struggled to communicate, and could not get a call to save our lives. It was a team we should have beat by 20 but we were going back and forth with them. It came down to the end of the game. We had a 1 point lead and they had the ball. With just under 5 seconds left one of our players got called for a foul, putting us in the bonus (there is no one and one, it is all double bonus) and the girl hit both free throws to put her team up one. It was extremely frustrating. Timur called timeout to set up a play and to advance the ball to half court.
Coming out of the timeout we ran to set up our play. Timur started yelling last second instructions that I was unsure of and I decided to just run the play he had drawn up. No one else did. In the scramble to get open, Tini was hit hard by one of their players and knocked to the ground. Our inbounder was shocked by what happened to Tini and did not throw the ball in to me. The ref called us for 5 seconds and that pretty much sealed the game for the other team. They inbounded the ball, we foulded, they hit two free throws, the game was over. Our run of wins was over (we didn’t lose any games in the tournament last weekend either). We were exhausted. Timur told us we should not hang our heads. He told us that everyone loses games sometimes and it is okay and also that we had a lot of challenges that we had faced. We agreed. Normally I absolutely hate to lose, okay I always hate to lose, but this one didn’t burn me like usual because we really did have so much adversity through the game.

Sunday the adversity did not stop. We got up and went to breakfast at 8:30. Our game was supposed to be at 11:30. Our opponents showed up to breakfast already dressed in their uniforms. I thought that was weird. We ate and went back to our rooms to rest and pack up for the game. We had an hour and twenty minutes before we had to leave….or so we thought. About 20 minutes after getting up to our room coach came and told us that the schedule had been changed and no one had told him till just then, we had to leave right away. We scrambled to get our stuff (okay, everyone else scrambled, I had already packed thinking that I could lay back down till it was time to go) and went to the gym. Upon arriving we had 6 minutes to warm up. SKETCHY. The whole thing was sketch. The other team knew about the change in time but we didn’t? Sketch. Sketch sketch….

So we warmed up the best that we could and went out to play. Again we started slowly, no surprise there, we had a 6 minute warm up. Again the calls were one sided. This time however, it had even worse effects. One of our girls was on a fast break, sprinting the left side of the floor with the ball, and a player from the other team was running alongside her. When Filli went up for the layup the girl knocked into her, sending her crashing to the floor in pain and screams. Everyone stopped. It was obvious that something beyond an ankle roll had just happened. The Polish team went back to their bench, most of my teammates went to circle up around Filli. I stood back and watched, angry that the officials had let things escalate to this point. It is their job to keep things under control. Yes, injuries happen, but they are WAAAAAAAY more likely to happen when you don’t call fouls to keep players in check. Filli had to be carried from the floor. Our coach decided that we’d had enough and he didn’t want to risk anymore injuries. He calmly and kindly went to the coach of the other team and told them that it was nothing against them but we were not going to finish the game. He explained that we had hardly any players to begin with and now we’d had two big injuries. The coach understood and his team apologized for Filli’s injury.

The tournament officials asked us if we could do the trophy presentation quickly before we left. We agreed. We were given the second place trophy, the team we were playing took first. I was awarded the tournament MVP and received a duffel bag and a t-shirt. That was a fun moment…

After taking pictures with the other teams from the tournament we packed up and got on the road. I was with Fransi, Tini, and Dani. Timur took Filly and Claudi so they could go to the hospital. Louisa and Linsa went in the car Louisa had driven up. The ride home was just as beautiful as the ride there with scenery that left me thanking God.
As we got back into Berlin we were on the East side and I saw the area where they have kept part of the wall. It is covered in art work. It is crazy to look at that wall and to be reminded of what human beings will do to one another. It is hard to believe how recently it was that the wall went down…The girls on my team like to tease one of our players who lives in the “East Coast” (that is what they call it, ha ha!) because the west side is so much nicer than the East…but when you think about what happened in the East and how oppressed it was from developing, it makes sense…Anyway, Fransi dropped us three off at the train station and Tini and I said goodbye to Dani. Tini and I sat in McDonald’s and ate cheeseburgers and talked for a little bit- Tini could have left but she waited with me for a while since my train wasn’t due for an hour. I’m telling you, these people are KIND. 

Soon enough I was on the train ride home and exhausted. When I got into Falkensee of course it was raining. I used the handles of my dufflebag like straps and wore it on my back, then slung my backpack over my shoulder and began the walk home. It’s funny, with my ipod going and the music keeping my thoughts moving, the walk through the rain was pleasant. Matt Maher’s song, “Hold us Together” came on and I sang along (as if I needed one more reason for Germans around me to think I am crazy)...

I love the words to the chorus,
Love will hold us together, build us a shelter, to weather the storm
And I’ll be my brother’s keeper, so the whole world will know that we’re not alone.

Even on that walk home I was not alone. I thanked God that I am never alone. I thought of the TMC team and how they have so much- teammates who love one another and who love God…I thought of my own team who I am already growing to love. I got home and Claudia asked me how the weekend went..I was in such a good mood I almost answered that it was great, then I remembered the injuries and how things ended…but despite the injuries and ref drama, it really was a great weekend. The conversations and friendships built left me with a light heart.